I hate you more ~buckybarnes enemies to lovers

Chapter 14 ~ Haunted

Elastic heart.

(Y/n Pov)

"BARNES I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" I scream from the cloudy mirror from my shower.

He did it, payback.

(Living room)

"Uh oh, what did you do now?" Yelana mocks, stifling a laugh.

Bucky with a smirk, contrasting to the confused faces which the team have seen alot of recently. "Payback." He responds simply.

I march down the stairs, one look in my eyes. Hatred. Pure, fiery, ugly hatred. My hair drips, blood red.

"Explain." I demand, my voice is as cold as stone, which shocks everyone since they haven't seen me like this apart from Natasha, Yelana, and Bucky obviously. "Now."

"Well it's kinda like your name they-". He starts before I cut him of before the others pick up.

"Don't say it." I hurriedly say until I cover myself from breaking.

"R-"

"DON'T FUCKING SAY IT!" I howl like the animal they made me.

Bucky's smirk dropped for a second when he sees the pleading in my eyes, the desperation for a fresh start. I don't show that, it's only obvious because he knows, he knows what's going on whether I like it or not. "Fine, I won't." I can breath a sigh of fresh air while everyone else is confused why I am so worked up over a name.

A name. That's all it is, right? A name.

I run off back upstairs before the tears start to spill. Back to the mirror.

I see the blood dripping from my hair. The lives I took. The red tinted water pooling in the sink I press my hand onto. I see my reflection in the pool of blood, but not me I see her. A lump forms in my throat, I choke on sobs of my lips betraying me.

She's here, she's always here. Haunting me.

"She's here." I whisper on sobs. "Why can't she leave me alone. When will it stop?" I look back to the mirror, flickering in my mind. Back and forth.

Cherry red footprints.

Blood splattered hair.

The only colour that wasn't red was the black eyeshadow around my eyes.

I look back to the mirror it flashes across.

The black muzzle, like a wild animal.

The blood stained teeth smiling at me.

The cold, murderous eyes glaring back towards me.

The midnight eyeshadow only few would recognise.

The blood stained hair.

Blood splattered uniform.

Back. The wet hair dripping into the white sink, staining it. The eyes flooded with tears now trailing down my cheek. Un-muzzled. Free.

I am free, I think. Am I?

I clear the tears off my cheek and eyes, gathering myself as I dry my hair.

No one can see me like this. Weak.

I walk down to ask Natasha for help. Stumbling into the elevator instead of the stairs this time.

Thankfully she is in the living room, along with Bucky, unfortunately. "Hey Nat, can you help me please." I ask in a quiet voice as if I am ashamed.

"Yeah sure, what with?" She turns to face me.

I direct my eyes quickly to Bucky before they go back to Natasha. "Got it. Let's go." She stands up and we head to my room.
"So what do you need help with?"

"My hair, I need to change it back." I beg desperately.

"Why? It looks great." She compliments not knowing the pain one colour can cause.

"Please Nat." I beg again.

"Okay, okay. Let me get my stuff." She walks out to collect her things. After a minute she comes back with gloves, a pot, a brush, and bottles. She was holding a box which said 'hair colour remover'. As Natasha started to mix everything she asks, "Did Bucky do this as a reference to the name HYDRA called you?"

I nodded my head and looked to my lap, not dareing to see her expression. "It's haunting me, like a ghost."

"That mother fucker." She exclaims. "Also girl talk after dinner, don't forget. We're doing a movie night."

"I won't." I respond, glad if the topic change which Natasha is surprisingly good at.

"I missed this. You." She sighs.

"Me too. But hey, at least you were right on guessing my name." I painfully laugh however still astonished that she was able to guess it.

Natasha returns the laugh, once she is done covering my hair with the colour remover she give instructions. "Wash this off after 15 minutes. See you at dinner."

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(At dinner)

"Hey Stark, didn't you say there was movement detected outside Stark Tower 4 weeks ago?" Sam remembers, recalling the event.

"Yeah, but it was probably just strong winds." Tony replys, taking another bite of his food.

"Well, I was testing redwings new feature 4 weeks ago and it picked up something on the camera." Sam explains.

"What was it?" Tony said getting inpatient now.

"The Red Soldier."

I immediately look down to my plate, swirling my fork in circles to the mention of my former name. I feel Bucky's penetrating glare seer through my mind. Natasha and Yelana spare a glance on me before looking back to the conversation.

I feel the tears start to well again in my eyes. Held off by my invisible barriers. My eyes are scared and I think it's obvious to Bucky they don't know, I dont want them to.

"Don't be silly, she's a ghost story!" Clint interrupts.

"So was The Winter Soldier." Sam fires back. Bucky faces his plate and occasionally looks up to me.

I look up to see Bucky staring at me, but not like he normally does. A silent agreement is held, he won't share my secret. I don't know why but he agrees. He gives me a nod with almost concerned eyes, scared for me.

"If she was watching us what do you think HYDRA wants?" Steve asks, trying to keep the conversation rational.

"Who even is The Red Soldier?" Peter asks, oblivious to anything HYDRA related.

"She's a HYDRA assasin, no one knows who she is. We encountered her when we found Bucky, she was with him." Steve explains. He gave me an odd look when he noticed my heart rate spike and the mention of her.

Shit, he knows doesn't he? He knows I'm her. No, no, no he can't it's my most hidden secret, he doesn't know, he can't.

"Lady Yelana, you've been quiet today." Thor speaks up breaking away my racing thoughts.

"Just.. thinking." She replys, quieter that usual. Probably because of me.

"Look nothing happened so I think we should just leave it for now." Tony irritably says. "Also, mission tomorrow with Cap, me, Nat, Clint, and sam. And I see you changed your hair back y/n." He walks away.