Reflections - Mattheo Riddle

Selfish?

Kirra hoped that would be the end of it, making her way to the library to find Mattheo, however unfortunately for her, the three Gryffindors followed after her, seemingly determined to get them to teach them spells. 

Hermione looked over at Harry, thinking that it woulds sound better if it came from him, since she had more of a soft spot for him. "Kirra, you're the best in the year at Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Harry, hoping that his sister would listen to him, clearly not caring about her mental state right now.

"Please Harry, please just leave me alone," Kirra sighed, fighting her tears as she continued to walk to the library, not turning to look at them as they continued to follow after her, the three of them easily keeping the pace of the short Hufflepuff, despite the fact that she was attempting to speed walk

"I'm busy" said Kirra coolly. 

"You know what, I'm not sure I want someone this selfish teaching me," Ron said to Hermione, smirking slightly, thinking that maybe some reverse psychology shit would work on her. He turned to Harry. "Maybe Harry should teach us, maybe he is the better Potter after all. Let's think," he said, pulling a face like Goyle concentrating. "Uh . . . first year — Harry saved the Stone from You-Know-Who."

"yeah you're right," said Kirra, "you know, since Hermione fucking petrified me when I tried to help —"

"Second year," Ron interrupted, "Harry killed the basilisk and destroyed Riddle."

"Yep, and im very proud of h —"

"Third year," said Ron, louder still, "Harry fought off about a hundred dementors at once —"

"sure thing mate —"

"Last year," Ron said, almost shouting now, "Harry fought off You- Know-Who again —"

"Why can't you just leave me alone!" said Kirra, almost angrily, because Ron was smirking, Harry looked like he had no idea what the fuck to do right now, and Hermione looked like she was questioning if they were taking this all too far. 

"Call me selfish, I dont care." Kirra's frustration boiled over as she turned to face the Gryffindors, her eyes flashing with anger. "Do you think this is some kind of joke?" she spat, her voice trembling with emotion. "Do you have any idea what it's like to live with the memories of the war every single day? To wake up in a cold sweat, haunted by the faces of everyone I fucking lost? I have to sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend just to get some actual fucking sleep!"

"Don't sit there grinning like you've fucking achieved something you git, I was the one that had to fucking go through it all over and over, wasn't I?" she said heatedly to Ron, who's smirk finally dropped. "I know what went on, all right? You don't know what it's like! You — any of you — you've never had to face him other than Harry, have you?" she said, glaring at Hermione and Ron. 

"You think it's just memorising a bunch of spells and throwing them at him, like you're in class or something? The whole time you know there's nothing between you and dying except your own — your own brain or reflexes or skills —"

Kirra looked like she was ready to punch them all, she couldn't understand why the hell they wouldn't just leave her alone. "Like you can think straight when you know you're about a second from being murdered, or when youre being tortured, or when you are standing there, watching all of your friends fucking die — I can't fucking teach you that!"

She looked helplessly around, her body shaking as she hopped for some reason Mattheo might be wandering the halls at the right time

"Kirra," Hermione said timidly, "don't you see? This . . . this is exactly why we need you. . . . We need to know what it's r-really like . . . facing him . . . facing V-Voldemort."