Dark Secrets

16

Yuvansh stayed in a hotel room. Just before he boarded his flight to the US, he contacted Yashvi and asked her to find out from Shreshtha whether they could meet in America. When he landed at JFK airport, New York, he received a message from Yashvi saying that Shreshtha would call him.

Although he constantly checked his phone for a message, a call or a missed call for the next nine days, it was only on the tenth day that he received a call from the number that Shreshtha had used once before to contact him. As she had expressly requested, he had not saved it, but she hadn't forbidden him from memorizing it.

"Thakur sahab, someone is close now," Shreshtha whispered huskily, in her usual wine-soaked voice.

"Someone is always close, Ranisa. One needs to look within."

"I know the book event thing is an excuse. You have come to  meet me", she had a naughty tinge in her voice.

"At least someone understood it."

"Someone has understood a lot, Thakur sahab. She doesn't say it, that's all."

"What has she understood? I want to know."

"I know I've been a torture for you. But what if I tell you that from the last time we met, on my wedding night, we have stayed within the other. Does that make sense?"

Yuvansh felt his heart thud. He felt like a devotee whose prayers and emotional abstinence had finally been acknowledge by the goddess.

"The essence of companionship isn't togetherness is what I've understood, Ranisa. Love is a soul choice, not a physical obligation. And when something stems from a spiritual decision, being present or an absent doesn't matter. You are the person. And the other person is you. That's the power of a soul- connect. It doesn't let you be yourself only," Yuvansh said and heard her sigh.

"You know, Thakur sahab , there are certain things which , till the time they remain within us, are called desires but the moment we talk about them the world assumes them to be regrets. My silence, my absence and my wiling decision of keeping you out of my radar is that I can't let the world think you are my regret."

"Even if you had made me your regret for the world, Ranisa, I would have lived it proudly."

"You understand why "we " never happened , right? Firstly, I could never have said no to my father after how I let him down and then I feared with you around, I'd never be able to forget Darsh and what he did."

"I get it. I'm not asking you anything, Ranisa. Except I'll be grateful if we can be in touch. I'm ready to live in the shadows, in the dark, away  from your world but I  just want to stay in touch. It just makes me feel alive to know you are a part of my reality. I've craved to hear you, to meet you, to...."

Yuvansh couldn't speak any further without choking up.

"Don't cry, Thakur sahab. It will spoil the colour of our love story even though there's not much colour in it", she said, her voice choked.

"May I tell you something? I lo-"

"Hold on, Thakur sahab. Not on the phone. Meet me, look into my eyes, hold my hands and then say it. I'll know then that my belief, at least in one man, was correct."

"I will. When will you meet me?"

"I'm travelling with Aditya right now. We are driving the whole day. We've just stopped at the gas station. He went to the washroom, so I thought of connecting with you."

"Sure, I'll wait. How is Aditya?"

"He is good."

"How is the married life going? Happy?"

"It's going very well . He is a nice man. My father's choice. Gives me whatever I want. Takes care of me. Respects me. What else does a woman need?" With the last part, she broke down.

"What should I believe in, Ranisa? Your story or your tears?"

"Just because something hasn't decayed, it doesn't mean it's alive," she said. There was a prolonged silence.

"Come home day after. Aditya would love to meet you. Let's catch up over dinner. I know you like my cooking."

"I'll be there."

"Aditya is coming. I need to hang up . Hurry up. Don't keep me waiting , Thakur sahab. Come to me soon."

Before Yuvansh could say anything, the line went dead. But this time he had recorded their talk.

The next day dragged out so incredibly slowly that it felt like time was standing still to Yuvansh. He couldn't focus on anything. Then came the day. The evening. He hadn't heard from her except for in the morning when she'd messaged him the address. He bought a bottle of Napa Valley wine and donned his best suit. The last time she had seen him, he was a boy. Now he was a young man. At long last, the moment that he had been waiting for, for years now, arrived. He picked up the bottle of wine and was waiting for his cab when he received a call from an unknown number.

"Hello".

"Hi. this is Aiden. Is that Mr. Yuvansh Singh Thakur? " It was an American man's voice.

"Yes, speaking."

The man's next words were a bolt from the blue and the bottle slipped from Yuvan's nerveless fingers and shattered on the floor, the spilt wine spreading over the beige carpet like plasma. Yuvansh hurried downstairs and told the cab driver to drive as fast as he could to the address that Aiden had provided. Despite the cabbie's best efforts , it took him an hour to get there. Yuvansh rushed upstairs to find Aiden waiting for him. He ushered Yuvansh into a dimly lit room. Yuvansh thought his heart would explode seeing his Ranisa covered with a white sheet which had bloody spots at several places. Spot dead, Aiden had remarked seeing Yuvansh. He was the police officer who'd reached the accident site first. A trail of ten cars had bumped into each other owing to a truck's sudden stop on the highway. One of the cars had Shreshtha and Aditya in it. Aditya's phone was destroyed. Shreshtha's was left. Aiden called the last dialed number on her phone which happened to be Yuvansh.

With weak knees Yuvansh approached Shreshtha's body. She looked at peace. The injury marks and dried blood had made her face ugly. Yuvansh had seen a lot of bodies with the help of his friends who are in forensics and medical for research purposes for his novels but never before had he seen  one who he'd been in love with. He bent and spoke softly in her ears, fully aware that she couldn't hear his quavering voice. He gulped miserably, tasting the salt of his tears. He held her hands, but her eyes were closed as he whispered in her deaf ears, "I love you, Ranisa."

Those were the words he had repeated in his mind, a thousand times, every single day, for years now, but had never had the courage to say them out loud. He had always wanted to but he had been waiting forever for the right time. And today, he finally did it. He finally said them to her, but it no longer mattered. 

Shreshtha Srivastava was dead.

Yuvansh left. He couldn't feel anything. He walked on for a minute, then saw a speeding car crossing the street and threw himself in front of it. The car flung him in the air and threw him thirty meters ahead. He landed on his side and was unconscious immediately.