Dark Secrets

9

"Don't trouble her too much", Mrs Thakur told Yuvansh. Before he could say anything, Shreshtha stoutly declared, "He never troubles me."

Mahendra and Kanchan had to attend a family function in Udaipur. At first, they thought they would take Yuvansh along, but Mahendra suggested that it wouldn't be a good idea to leave Shreshtha all alone in the house. As it was just a matter of a day, they asked Yuvansh to take day off from school and stay at home with Shreshtha. His parents left for Udaipur after an early breakfast.

Yuvansh was studying in his room when he heard her at his door.

"How do I look?"

She was in a Rajasthani poshak (outfit) with the complete set of jwellery to accessorize the outfit.

"Like a genuine Ranisa," he stood up.

"I knew you'd say thst," Shreshtha giggled.

"When did you get that?"
"It's your mother's. I asked her for it, and she was kind enough to lend it to me. I wish to wear this for my wedding."

"May I make a request, Ranisa?" Yuvansh asked earnestly.

She looked at him and then smiled, saying, "I know , Thakur sahab. Give them to me."

Yuvansh quickly brought the ghungroos out and handed them to Shreshtha. She walked out, jingling them in her hand and Yuvansh followed her.

They were on the terrace. Yuvansh helped her fasten the ghungroos. She played a Rajasthani folk song on her phone. As she started dancing to it, Yuvansh sat down in a corner, utterly spellbound by the performance, staring , without even daring to breathe. Although his body was completely still, his mind was in a tumult. He continued to applaud long after she was done until she broke his reverie with, "That's enough, Thakur sahab! Your special someone will get jealous if she gets to know you clapped so much for me!" She sat down to undo the ghungroos.

"Is it normal to get jealous seeing the one we love with someone else, Ranisa?" Yuvansh asked. "Of course , it's normal . I remember once your Darsh bhaiya saw me talking to one of his friends. We had a terrible fight that day.

"Just because he saw you talking to someone else? Why?"

"Well, he felt insecure. He felt that I could fall for another guy."

Yuvansh thought for a moment and then asked, "But even if you do fall for someone else, how will his love for you be affected?"
"As in?" Shreshtha frowned.

"I mean Darsh bhaiya loves you. But is his love for you purely reciprocative; that is to say, only there until you fall for someone else? Can someone's love be so fragile that it depends on what the other person does?"

Shreshtha thought for a while and then said, "You're right. Love can't be so fragile that it pivots entirely on someone else's actions even if that someone else is the one you're in love with. But tell me something hypothetically, if the girl you're in love with cheats on you and never tells you about it, then what will you do?"

"If she never tells me," Yuvansh thought as he spoke, "then I would never get to know. So, what I don't have to react to. But if I do get to know , then I'll back off from the relationship, however , I won't abuse her. I'll respect her choice."

"Won't you say anything to her?" Shreshtha was a tad surprised.

"Don't you think Ranisa, that when two people get into a relationship, it's because they want to add more happiness to each other's lives than there already is?"

"Yeah...... I supposed so."

"Then if the one with whom I'm in love does something that makes her happy, even if momentarily, and it comes at the cost of betraying me, I'll still accept it. I may get hurt and I may back off, but I'll accept it."

Shreshtha nodded incredulously and said,"You're way too mature, Thakur sahab."

"Is there something wrong with that, Ranisa?"

Shreshtha shook her head,"Nothing , except that it's the mature ones who get screwed by life the most."

When Yuvansh offered to help in the kitchen  as she fixed lunch for them, she was again pleasantly surprised.

"Oooh, you're so unlike your Darsh bhaiya. You don't belive that the kitchen is purely the woman's domain."

"Gender roles have always confused me. Whenever I saw mummy making tea for papa even when she was running a 102 degrees temperature, I couldn,t understand why he couldn't make it himself. What was the problem if, ocassionally, he did what mummy always does for him?"

Her smile full of irony, Shreshtha said, "I wish that people in general understood this; so many social issues would be eradicated then!"

It was late in the evening when Yuvansh came up to her room with a cup of tea. He found her listening to music.

"Oh my God! Don't impress me so much that I end up marrying you instead of your Darsh bhaiya ,"  Shreshtha exclaimed, accepting the cup of tea gratefully.

Yuvansh felt shy and said, "I've seen you having tea with mummy at this time, so I thought..."

"You thought..... that's what makes you different from other men, Thakur sahab."

He stood there admiring the delicate way she sipped her tea, squinting at the cityscape from her vantage point at the corner of the terrace.

"You know, Thakur sahab, it doesn't matter how much you love someone.There's always this dangerous pitfall. With time you learn to burry a lot of things which you would have otherwise shared with the person had you not been so invested in the togetherness."

"I don't get it, Ranisa."

"For example, I won't be able to tell Darsh that I want to continue dancing. I know he doesn't like it, but he does know that I love it. So, what do we do? One will have to yield to the other, otherwise the togetherness will suffer."

"Why can't it be him in this case?"

Shreshtha looked at him and a moment later laughed out loud.

"He is a man. And men don't cede to women. Or so the story goes, the one we have been fed since time immemorial," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Do you mean closeness destroys many things between couples, although  it is closeness that couples seek all the time while they're in a relationship? Isn't that paradoxical?"

"It is. But then, so is love; so is life; and so are human beings."

Shreshtha finished her tea without another word. Yuvansh sensed that there was much more within her than she let on. Although she was deeply in love with Darsh , she could feel a certain discomfort as well.

The inherent contradiction distracted him from his single-minded focus on his studies that night. They had a quiet dinner after which both retired to their respective rooms.

The next morning , Mahendra and Kanchan returned from Udaipur. Shreshtha opened the door for them.

"Shreshtha , beta , I'm sorry but you'll have to pack your stuff,"

Mahendra said as he stepped into the house.

Taken aback, Shreshtha looked at Mrs Thakur in mute appeal, but she averted her eyes.

Shreshtha understood that there was some imminet bad news. Yuvansh didn't emerge from his room but eavesdropped on the conversation standing by the door of his room.