𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙀𝙑𝙄𝙇'𝙎 𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙇 - 𝙔𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝘼𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

14.

━━━

Those eyes. 

Why do you do this to me, Alastor?

Now I am left with feelings that I would rather ignore, yet they are so blatant and loud, I simply cannot. 

And sometimes, against the warm breeze that seeps through my open window, passing by the thin, weightless curtains, prickling my skin and swooning the jazz from my radio across my air, I consider many things. 

He makes me overthink, and that is one thing that has made him such a particular man. 

No man has played upon my mind such as him. 

And if I am being honest, it is scary. I don't know how to unpack such feelings, and even with as much time as i've been offered, it seems that he will never give me a moment of relaxation.

Because even alone, his silhouette clouds my mind. 

And if he continues to haunt my every waking hour, I am more than afraid that I will grow shameless and give in to such thoughts. 

I thought I was strong; better than that.

But that day, he did something that left me dropping every single form of denial I had against him. 

━━━

The gentle scent of lifted vanilla and an underlining musk of metallic blood lingers upon the cannibal town bar, my gaze faintly flickering from Rosie who attends to the bustling voices that crowd the bar, my figure with a glass of wine within my gloved hand and my body sat at a circular, oak table. 

A comfort place.

This bar has brought unexpected joy upon me, and nothing others could possibly think or feel would change my opinion on such a place.

I am beginning to grow, even after death, I am a forever-changing soul, just like every soul within these cursed streets. 

And one thing about me that is beginning to change and alter, is how I begin to lack the shame of what brings me natural joy. 

And is this changing aspect of me possibly backed by the emotionally confronting attachment I am beginning to gain and face towards Alastor? Most definitely. 

I am no liar. And I am quite aware of myself.

Jazz and alcohol dance through the warm atmosphere, smiles upon every face, this night being oddly celebratory. Though I don't know why, I simply let myself sit within its laughter and buzz without a single complaint. 

The soft, ambient warm of the lamp-lights catch the glistening sparkle of my jewelled bodice; a performance which occurred earlier, as successful as I had hoped it had been. These performances are becoming regular, and I find great happiness in such an enthusiastic, excited crowd. 

As my eyes gently gaze and linger over each table, The feathers that entertain my styled locks gently swoop with my neck's movement, and Rosies approaching figure sends the ends of my painted lips in a lifted grin. 

"You seem happy," My teeth flash upon a lifted smile with my words, my comment only accentuating her cheekbones as her grin deepens. 

"Oh, how did you know-!? Oh, honey, I have amazing news, just amazing-! You are going to leave this bar feeling ecstatic by the end of the night!" Her words leave me with both intrigue and playful curiosity, knowing that whatever this lovely woman has ever promised me, she has always been correct.

My brow perks, and the corners of my lips tug as I gently sway the wine within my wine glass. "Oh, do tell," I chuckle with warmth, and with the way Rosie fidgets with her lengthy skirt, it's as if she is about to explode from excitement to tell me this news she's pocketed for me.