Exahusted pt2

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-Carry on from last chapter-

TW: mental health, su*c*de attempts

So, after a day or two i managed to get myself out of my house and into school, i walk through the gates and see Bolton and all my friends, they're all laughing, something made me jealous and sad, they're all laughing and having fun.....without me.

I walk over to them, "hey" everyone falls silent, Bolton turns around and looks at me, his smile drops.

"Omg reena" he hugs me and picks me up

"Where have you been?"

i try to look and sound cheereful.

"Oh yeah , sorry i was ill, like bedbound, i was basically just sleeping most of the time"

The group all smile at me

"well atleast your back now babe" danielle says to me

"Yeah babe you sure your alright?" bolton looks concerned

"Yeah i'm fine" i lie, they cannot know what's going on.
-fast forward a couple of hours-

I just about got through the last two lessons but now I've got English with everyone. Great! I've got to pretend to be happy.

I'm sat in English, drowning out everyone when I hear bolton's voice
"Babe!"
I shoot my head round to him
"Uh yeah"
"Are you sure your alright"
"Uhhh yeah I'm probably just coming down from this illness I had"
He keeps questioning but I shoot down his suspicions. I feel so bad, why am I doing this to him?
After the bell goes we all rush out and walk to our tree spot on the grass but I stay standing
I stay silent for a second
"Umm Bolton..can I speak to you for a second?"
He pauses speaking to Paul
"Oh yeah sure"
I grab his hand and walk to the back of the school where no one hangs out
I tense up, I don't know how to explain myself
"What do you wanna say babe?"
I stay say silent until I finally speak
"I can't do this"
He looks shocked
"What do you mean?"
"You and me......I can't do it
He looks at you
"Are you breaking up with me?"
You notice hes eyes start to water
"I-I'm sorry..."
"I don't deserve you Bolton...you're kind,sweet and so so caring.....I can't just.....I'm not good for you"
You can see tears fall but he stops himself, and his voice breaks
"W-what do you mean? Why aren't you good enough"
"I-I'm just not....im not a good person.....but you are"
"You ar-you are a good person, don't do this"
"I'm so sorry Bolton, it's not just you, it's all of you,my friends...you deserve better then a friend and girlfriend than me"
I'm crying now
Bolton wipes the few tears away from his face then walks away.....not saying a word
I stand there....numb, I don't know how to feel, I can't go back there because I'll have to explain what happened...
My head is spinning but I then notice the bar of the school fence that me and my old friends cut open a few years ago. I quickly run over and push it open so I can get out...I can leave school without not only teachers seeing but also my friends but what I hadn't noticed is that Tom Clarkson, an English teacher at the school had seen me just as I squeezed through the gap.

I quickly run back to my house, good no one's home I get to my room in a flood of tears, my head won't stop all I can think about is boltons face, my dad , donte, my friends. I finally stop crying when I notice something on my desk...a sharpener....my head fixated on this sharpener I go downstairs and destroy the cupboards until I find a screwdriver then I undo the sharpener...by this point I'm not even thinking I'm so fixated on this...after I separate the blade from the sharpener I drop to the floor...staring at it for a while....i lift up my sleeve.....

What I didn't realise is that Tom decided to go to donte asking why I left on my own, donte explained my situation so they both leave school to find me....starting at the house.

They smash through my bedroom door and that's where they find me...covered in blood.
Mr Clarkson runs over, grabbing my arm to stop the blood, donte stops...his eyes widened
"Donte call an ambulance! NOW!"
Donte looks frozen
"DONTE"
He quickly grabs his phone and calls the ambulance, after that our dad
Luckily they both arrived in time..I was still Alive...I start crying...grabbing my arm..trying to remove sirs hand from my arm. I start shouting
"Stop...get off me....get off"
After shouting for a minute I give up and cry in mr clarksons arms.

The ambulance arrive and rush me to the hospital,just as school has come out...great, turns out all my friends and Bolton were coming over to confront me for what happened......what they saw was not what they were expecting.

Authors note:
I just want to say, I tried not to make this chapter too graphic but I implied what happened.
If anyone reading this is struggling please know you are not alone,I found this for anyone who might need it

If anyone reading this is struggling please know you are not alone,I found this for anyone who might need it

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