The Gift of Kings (HuaLian TGCF)

Chapter 12 Desire

Xie Lian's lips are soft beneath his own, soft and warm and real. Real. This is real. He is real. Xie Lian... Xie Lian is the person from back then, the god he's been looking for, the reason he's breathing. Xie Lian is... Xie Lian is everything.

Hua Cheng wraps his arm around the prince, pulling him closer, holding onto him as though he never means to let go and really, as long as Xie Lian lets him, he never will. Even if it means staying a concubine, even if it means staying a slave, if he gets to live at Xie Lian's side, he'll except anything, anything at all. The knowledge of what he's really doing in Xianle flickers to life in the back of Hua Cheng's mind but he ignores it, tamps it down, buries it against Xie Lian's perfect lips. He'll find some way to handle it, some way that doesn't hurt Xie Lian, some way that doesn't mean he'll be driven from the prince's side. He will!

When the kiss finally breaks they're both panting and gasping and flushed. Xie Lian looks at Hua Cheng with those bright golden eyes and it feels like being caught in the gaze of god himself, a god who is warm and real in Hua Cheng's arms, and oh the concubine remembers what happened the last time he and Xie Lian were this close, the feeling of his skin warm beneath Hua Cheng's own, his gasps and moans as he came apart beneath Hua Cheng's hand, and oh he wants to see that sight again, wants it more than he wants almost anything.

Maybe something of his desire shows in his eye because Xie Lian flushes more beneath the heat of his gaze.

"San Lang..."

"Gege, would you let me thank you for saving me?"

The blush flares still brighter in the prince's cheeks but he shakes his head.

"San Lang, last night was..." Xie Lian hesitates and Hua Cheng feels his heart stutter in his chest. If Xie Lian says that it was a mistake, that this thing growing between them is a mistake, then... "I didn't expect it so I wasn't thinking clearly."

Hua Cheng feels a twist like pain in his chest. The words don't do anything to touch Hua Cheng's love for the prince, there is nothing in all three realms strong enough to do that, but they do feel like a dagger slipped between his ribs, a dagger he had seen coming for him and yet still somehow hoped would be withdrawn before it could pierce his heart. /Of course/ Xie Lian was only acting in the heat of the moment, /of course/ he doesn't want to become truly involved with Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng is a slave and Xie Lian is a prince, Hua Cheng is missing an eye, his appearance made monstrous because of it, and Xie Lian... Xie Lian is a creature of beauty surrounded by beauty. It's not that this is a surprise really, Hua Cheng understood even as he kissed and touched Xie Lian that it was just the heat of the moment, just experimentation and curiosity and the need for a partner not involved in the court's political games, but still, even that knowledge does little to dull the pain.

Xie Lian must see the stricken look on Hua Cheng's face because he quickly adds. "It's not that I regret last night, I said I don't and I don't, but San Lang, I don't want you to 'repay me' like this. I don't want you to think I expect these sorts of things from you. I never meant for us to get ...involved and I don't want to force you into something you don't want. I think we both wanted last night but it can be a one time thing..."

Xie Lian makes to pull himself from the concubine's arms and Hua Cheng... Hua Cheng can't bring himself to let go, not when Xie Lian is right here, so close, not with the taste of Xie Lian's mouth still lingering on his lips and the revelation of who Xie Lian truly is to him still pounding through his mind.

When his attempt to pull away is met with resistance Xie Lian stills, eyes fixing intently on Hua Cheng's face as though trying to read the concubine's thoughts. "San Lang...?"

Hua Cheng's heart is racing, his blood pounding in his ears, his knowledge that Xie Lian could do so much better than him waring with the prince's words and his own burning desire. It's the prince's stillness which finally draws the words out of him, because if Xie Lian actually wanted out of his arms, Hua Cheng is fully aware that he would be and Hua Cheng would probably be on the ground half way across the room. The prince's lack of real resistance must mean that he doesn't truly want to be free of Hua Cheng's embrace, and if he doesn't want that then... When he speaks his voice comes out hoarse and so soft even he can barely hear it.