The Gift of Kings (HuaLian TGCF)

Chapter 9 What He Hates

Hua Cheng stiffens instantly, the heat of desire burned from his mind by sudden panic. His heart, pounding just a moment before, feels like it's gone still in his chest even as he desperately tries to keep any of what he's feeling from showing on his face.

"What makes you think that?"

Xie Lian gives him a small smile, the blush fading from his cheeks. "Why wouldn't you be? So many have tried. It's hard not to suspect." There's something sad behind that smile, something terribly empty, and Hua Cheng hates it instantly.

"Is that why you've never been with anyone?"

Xie Lian nods. "There's always something to gain from me, influence or wealth or information or a chance at the throne. Feng Xin and Mu Qing are the only exceptions but even they still think of me as their prince. At least /they/ do actually care about me. Every person who has ever tried to flirt with me only ever wanted the crown prince. None of them actually want me."

Hua Cheng stares at him for a long moment, fear of being discovered replaced by another sort of emotion, stronger and more powerful. Fury.

"Fuck the nobility!"

"What?" Xie Lian's eyes widen and he stares up at the man above him but Hua Cheng isn't done.

"Fuck the monarchy! Fuck the whole disgusting system! I fucking hate the nobility! I always have! A bunch of superior bastards who think their birth makes them better than me, thinks it gives them the right to look down on me, to /sell/ me like I'm nothing. I hated every single part of it. I want to tear them down with my own hands, every single one of them, and the moment I'm free that's /exactly/ what I'm going to do!"

Hua Cheng snarls the last words, a threat and a promise and a glimpse of the fire that's burned hotter in him every day of the last four years. It's a dangerous thing to say to anyone let alone a prince and he knows it but right here, right now, he can't bring himself to care.

Xie Lian looks away, sadness clouding his eyes and when he speaks it's in his voice as well.

"I understand. You have every right to hate me. Why wouldn't you? I'm the one keeping you here as part of a political power play." There's bitterness in the final sentence and Hua Cheng senses that it's directed inward.

Xie Lian begins to sit up but Hua Cheng puts a quick hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down, his head following until his mouth nearly brushes Xie Lian's own.

"I didn't tell you that because I hate you. I told you because I want you to know that I don't want the crown prince." His lips brush lightly over Xie Lian's. "I want you."

Xie Lian stiffens, his breath catching and his eyes snapping to Hua Cheng's.

"...Really?" The question is a quiet desperate thing, more gasp than word.

Hua Cheng nods, lips grazing Xie Lian's with the motion.

"A noble would have used me as a political prop without a second thought, a lord wouldn't have bothered interrupting the Second Prince for the sake of a slave, a prince would have stood aside and let my life be a sacrifice for the sake of the realm."

Xie Lian inhales sharply.

"I would never..."

"I know." Hua Cheng whispers the words, and he does know, and he still can't fully believe that this is real, that Xie Lian is real."

He ducks his head, his lips grazing Xie Lian's, tasting only for a moment.

He wants so much more.

He wants everything.