The Sorrow in His Eyes: Regretful Husband

Chapter 2

Sophie's POV

The first time Adam talked to me was in the library at school. That was my favorite place in the entire world. A little exaggerated, yes, but this was my teenager self thinking. I just loved to read, loved to be surrounded by books. So, if you were looking for me, that was no better place to search!

Like always, I was deep in some good reading, imagining myself in the place of some suffering and misunderstood heroine, when a shadow descended upon me.

I turned my head to the side and, suddenly, I was looking directly at the boy of my dreams, who, for his part, was looking down at me, with a focused look on his face. The kind of look just Adam could muster. A look of someone who was seeing something good, something very nice and charming.

He smiled at me and I stared at him with my mouth wild open.

Then he said:

"Finally found you, beautiful."

_________

That memory just flashed through my mind, while I was still shocked, still stunned, and I hoped, I hoped so much, that I was just misunderstanding this whole situation.

Looking at this man, this man I loved so much, saying words to me that could not be taken back. They were just too cruel, it was just too much, and I had this feeling of devastation, that I could just crumble to the ground like dust. 

Maybe I was already crumbled and just haven't noticed.

"Adam, what have you done? What do you mean?"

I asked in a pleading voice, a voice of a woman pleading for consolation, Adam, please. A woman who just wanted to hear her husband saying that everything would be just fine as always. I beg of you, please, Adam!

But his answer was:

"I can't do this anymore, Sophie, I just... can't. It's too much. I'm sorry. I love you Sophie, I love our kids, but I feel like I am not living, like I am letting something behind me. I don't... I don't want to hurt you babe, I don't. But I want out, Sophie. God, forgive me for this. I just want out."

Out? Out? From where? From who? To do what? Why, Adam? What the hell is wrong with you?

He was looking at me, waiting for a reaction.

Maybe expecting me to flip, to explode, to turn into a crazy person, to throw some dishes at him.

He was there, tense, in his full height, his perfect, still breathing body, so nervous, so taut, I could feel waves of desperation coming through him.

He looked so gorgeous, even after uttering the most unspeakable words to me. He was staring, expecting... Maybe even wishing me to go berserk?

You need to react Sophie, maybe it was his thinking. Of course, you will go mad Sophie, like all it should be.

Like hell.

I have some pride, Adam, maybe you are not aware of this fact?

"Do you want to explain this to me, Adam? Are you cheating, are you seeing someone? Are you leaving your family? That's it?"

"I am not cheating, Sophie, but... I just don't want to hold back anymore. I've been having these thoughts for a couple of months and... We were married so young, babe. I just don't want to hurt you. I would never do this to you. But it is what it is. I can't fight this anymore. I am going to take care of you and the kids as always, but I am leaving. I am so sorry."

Adam said all these things and when he was finished, he closed his eyes and brushed his hands down his face, like he couldn't stand what was happening.

Like he couldn't stand his own words?