Cassie and Chloe have been best friends , their entire lives. With nothing getting in the way of their unbreakable bond.
There is one thing , though...
Cassie has a secret. A secret that she never even told Chloe !
Cassie is in love with CHLOE'S DA...
The feel of his skin against mine , all night long... Oh ! What a feeling ! The first time we had sex , it felt so good , I could barely catch my breath , as he pounded me into an oblivion !
After the second time... I knew that I would never ever be the same again !
Still hungry , shaking and begging for more of Jackson's love.
I literally have no words to describe how amazing last night was !
16 year old me would be so proud ! Running around screaming , like the stupid , little school girl I was...
Now , everything has changed...
The life I thought I knew has changed.
The woman I thought I am , has changed.
Still not a text or phone call from my Chloe... Jackson and I can't completely distract ourselves from yesterday's events. This morning he has been glued to his phone furiously texting Chloe and Natasha. The replies he gets from them are : " LEAVE ME ALONE ! " ; " I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ! " ; " FUCK OFF !!!" ; " I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ! " and worst of all , " I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU ! "
It's only 6am in the morning and its a fucking Thursday ! The both of us really fucked up big time ! There is literally nothing for us to say or do , to stop Natasha and Chloe from being mad at us ! They aren't just mad , they fucking hate us and for good reason...
If only I did not let my fear , get the better of me , I would have been brave enough to tell Chloe the truth about my feelings for Jackson.
It's too late to go back... I lost my best friend ! The only person who actually cared about me , no matter how many fuck ups I had over the years , Chloe never ever gave me a hard time about it. She adored me , every single part of me , even the most damaged parts...
I should have been honest with her from the start and I should have known to treat her better.
In the back of my mind , I always knew that she was a better person than me. I don't know how long I will be able to live without her in my life anymore. I have Jackson , the man that I always loved. Was it worth losing Chloe to finally have Jackson ?!
I am so... conflicted.
For years I've loved Chloe and I will always love her. I've been in love with Jackson for 4 years and being with him , adds more relief to the pain that I am going through right now...
I have no one except him ! He is literally the only person , that knows what the fuck is going on with me. He is the only one that understands and with him I feel a lot safer...
I don't know what I would have done , if he didn't come home with me last night...
I know...
I would not have stopped drinking , if it werent for him.
If he didn't kiss me in the gym , fuck me in the shower and kiss me infront of all those people , Chloe and I would still be best friends and nobody would have known the truth about us.
Fuck ! Who am I kidding , I just knew... that my secret would blow up in my face ! At least Jackson has been supportive during this difficult time , I guess ... that he really does love me ! I never knew that he felt the same !
I always thought , that he found me too annoying... The whole time he hid , because he knew that acting out on his feelings for me , would ruin everything for both of us !
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" Jackson. " , I call out to him , trying to turn his frantic face towards mine. He puts his phone on the ground and wraps his arms around my body. He buries his face into my neck , breathing me in... He relaxes , as he holds me in his arms tightly and gently at the same time. The kind of pressure that makes me feel better.
One day , when we look back on this tragedy , this will be nothing but one of those blue days. With Jackson , everything will be ok.
I am not fully certain , but I just know...
Suddenly , my phone starts ringing. I pull away from Jackson and I see the name, " Mum" appear with a photo of my Mum on the screen.
" Hey Mum. " , I answer , as soon as I put my phone to my ear. " Hi Darling ! Is everything ok ? " , she asks. Oh shit ! Don't tell me Chloe and Natasha , told them about yesterday ?!
" Yes , why ?! " , I respond , trying to sound as calm as possible , but I could hear my voice crack and shake at the end , as I finished speaking .
" We wanted to remind you , to attend dinner this Friday. We were worried that you were going to miss it again. " , Mum responds in a calmer demeanor. " I will be there by 7pm. Don't worry , Mum. " , I respond without a tremor in my voice.
" We will see you then. Bye. Love you. " , she responds. The phone call ends with a beep at the end.
Oh great ! I have to come to this Friday night dinner or they will all be up my ass ! It's just one night and they don't even need to know about Chloe , Jackson and I. They never knew about my feelings for Jackson and I will make sure that they never find out !
Pretending to be normal is exhausting , but its just one night...
How hard can it possibly be ?!
" Cass ?! " , Jackson calls out to me. " That was just my Mum. She expects me to come for family dinner tomorrow night. " , I respond , the dread is sinking in , deeper and deeper.
" Fuck ! I hope that they don't know about us ! " , he replies. Tension all over his body and face. For once in my life , I see Jackson Morgan filled with fear...
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I don't like that !
My family won't do anything to hurt me.
Maybe , everything will be alright tomorrow night...
( THANK YOU FOR READING CHAPTER 10 of nmtLh !!!You have reached the end of part 1 !!! Let me know your opinions and predictions for the story in the comments ;) YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME ! )
