Soul to Soul

Chapter Twenty-Three - Talk to Me!

A Few Hours Later...
Jensen Jackson...

Yesterday had been much more taxing than I had hoped for. Even now, with about twelve hours' distance, I am still raw and exposed from the pain and anguish that had come from Mary when I ended our relationship.

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Telling her that I didn't think the long-distance was going to work for me, she had started talking about moving up to Alaska to be with me, that we could start anew in this new place, that it would be good for us to be truly on our own. I hated that I had to be the one to crush those dreams she was gushing about. Fate is beyond cruel – all these lives changed for something that they deemed was the 'right' path.

Once she realised that I wasn't open to the idea of her moving up here with me, she all but crumbled. The tears had killed me – knowing that I was the one who was causing her such pain and anguish was like having my own heart ripped out and I guess in a way it was torn from my body because this was the woman, I had always assumed that I would spend the rest of my life with, but I knew now that it had to be done. I knew that to stay with her and let her believe that everything was fine, that we were fine would be a fate worse than death because the bond between Sage and I would only ruin us both if it went unchecked. Nathan had confirmed that the other night. And even if I were the asshole, I feel like I am right now, I would be sentencing Mary to a life where she would never be loved in the way that she so rightly deserved to be.

After hours of going back and forth with each other – yelling and screaming at one another – she couldn't understand why I was ending things if I loved her and I grew frustrated that I couldn't simply tell her the truth, talking calmly where we confessed that we might be holding onto something that had naturally run its course, we even cried together – agreeing that there was going to be a grieving period for both of us, eventually there was nothing else to do but to walk away. And that was when it hit me – if I had truly been in love with Mary, if I had been completely devoted to her there was no way that I could have walked away. Now that isn't to say that I didn't love her at all because I did, and I know that there is going to be a huge part of me that will always hold her in my heart, but our relationship wasn't fated. Us together wasn't set in stone, not the way Sage and I were.

I had stumbled through the portal around three-am and it took me a further two hours to decompress enough to fall asleep. It had been fitful and disturbed – images of Mary hurt and trapped, locked up and scared. When I woke up, I called my mom just to make sure that she checked on my ex.

Fuck.

I never imagined that I would ever call Mary my ex. I never intended to be with anyone but her. I had foolishly believed that I was one of those rare cases when a supe falls in love with a human and the fated-bond sparks. Then I met Sage. And my whole world went up in flames. Everything I believed was knocked on its head and I had no chance in fighting it because the bond between a fated-couple was infinite and demanding. I could feel it now. The way it was unrelenting. Now that I was unattached it screamed at me to complete the connection with Sage.

"Oh, hey Jay-bird-" Eve stumbled through the door that led down to the underground lair where she was residing with her own fated-mates.

"Hey, Evie-" I smiled at her. I liked this girl's energy – she was surprisingly uncomplicated, despite her heritage and lineage, she was one of those rare people who was down to earth and what you saw was what you got.

"Are you ok?" She was instantly concerned.

"Yeah, why?"

"For the very first time, I am seeing an aura and I have read enough to know that the brown you have surrounding you is giving off stressed vibes, so are you really, ok?" She asked me, a depth of compassion in her tone that definitely leads to a sense of calm washing over me.