Never Knew

Chapter 24 - Lapse In Judgment

---TRIGGER WARNING: DRUG USE--- 

Evelyn's POV

I woke up in a cold sweat, not knowing if it was night or day. I felt like the wind, going anywhere and everywhere, I did not stay in one place. It felt like I was shapeshifting under my sheets, I punched my legs repeatedly fore they felt like my bones wanted to break out of my leathery skin. I was trembling, fever or not it felt like my temperature had spiked. No, this was not a fever. This was an old friend coming to visit. I kicked my wall repeatedly as I lay on the floor of my bedroom. I screamed curses at the world and myself, I was my own worst enemy at the moment. My friend heroin was leaving my system, a rich girl addicted to drugs. I laugh bitterly, I cry, I curse, I scream. This was opiate withdrawal. 

- - -

A lot of the things we yearn for in this lifetime are usually things we shouldn't be wanting. But my God, isn't that the epitome of human desire? Regardless, of the way the world throws things at us, would we be content without the obstacles, or would we be bored? Lifeless? Lesson-less? 

- - - 

Three weeks after Jax's birthday. For three weeks Cody kept hooking me up with the blow, the oxy, and then the heroin. The texts didn't stop either, it's like there was this unknown force waiting for me to just off myself. If I stopped now, I would go into withdrawal by tomorrow, I was stuck. Today was the last day of the semester, and surprisingly enough I kept my grades at an all-time high. I would get high enough before class so that I wouldn't get sick and then after class, I would meet with Cody, he'd do his coke and I'd do my dope. We were spending so much time together, people either thought we were fucking or dating or both. I dismissed the rumors when asked about it by the girls, I had told them I was tutoring him. I was smart enough for them to believe it and stupid enough to lie. We were definitely not fucking or dating. 

*You're going to crack, I can see it in your eyes.*-unknown.

I had gotten a new phone since I had shattered mine to bits the night of Jax's birthday. After he went back inside the house, I stared at the baggy in my hand for about twenty minutes, twenty minutes too long. I should've flushed it in the first minute of finding it.

 My parents were currently on a trip to Bali, and my brother was spending a lot of time with Sadie, which kept them off my back. Hoodies had become my new best friend, and sweatpants once again. I hated having my hair down, so I kept it up in either a bun or a ponytail. The second my high wore off I would start getting so cold, no matter how many layers of clothes I had on, it felt like there was ice running through my veins. 

I feel a pair of strong hands pull me into a familiar closet. I've been here before, I got a case of Deja vu all of a sudden. 

"What the fuck is going on with you?" Ashton whispers angrily, he turns on the lightbulb in the middle of the closet and slams the door shut, locking it. 

I squint as he pulls the glasses gently off my face. His eyes searched my own for a response I wouldn't give. 

"What?" I ask defensively. I cross my arms, hugging myself and avoiding his intense gaze. 

"Evelyn, are you fucking high?" He asks grabbing my arms, his face full of concern and pensiveness. 

"Are you fucking drunk?" I retort sarcastically, pulling my arms away from him. His expression is pained and offended, but worried and soft now. I sigh, grabbing my shades from his hand gently and putting them back on my face.