Remember Me

III

"This is outrageous! You can't seriously be going ahead with this." Mae Pui said to her son.

"Mae! I have to. I already explained everything to you." Fourth said with a sigh.

"Son. I know you are trying to help, but at what cost?" Mae Pui tried to reason.

"Mae... if I don't do this, the only other option would be to have Gemini institutionalised as he would be deemed a danger to himself. Gemini will not survive with being locked away. He is a stubborn man. He will wither and become a shell of who he really is. I can not be in good consciousness let that happen." Fourth said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"What about you? Can you really be okay with pretending to be his husband? I know you still love him. Fotfot. What will happen once he gains his memories?" Mae Pui said, concern evident in her features with a small, gentle smile on her face.

"It's because I love him that I am doing this. I can not watch the man that I love wither and become a shell of himself. I know what I am doing, Mae. I know the risks, and I am still willing to go through this." Fourth replied, taking his mother's hand in his, smiling what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

"Okay, fine. I will trust you know what you are doing. I just worry." Mae Pui says with a sad smile.

Fourth knows his mother worries. He understands why. His mother had been there with him through the divorce proceedings, and she had seen him broken and depressed. She had spent sleepless nights cradling him when he cried himself to sleep. So Fourth understands that his mother worries.

"I know, Mae. I am grateful for you. You have been a blessing in my life. Truly." Fourth says before embracing his mother.

Fourth had spoken with Gemini's parents, and it was decided that the best option is to move Gemini's stuff from his apartment in Bangkok to Fourth's house in Chaing Mai. Fourth had to dig up photos from when they were still together and put a few frames around the house. He also decided to renovate one of his spare bedrooms to recreate Gemini's home studio.

When he looks around the house, there's so much of Gemini there it looks like he had been living with him for the past decade. This is what it would look like if they never got a divorce.  Fourth thinks they could've been happy... maybe.

Gemini has been in physiotherapy for several weeks now, and he is mostly able to walk by himself although he still has to use crutches. Fourth visits everyday, always fussing over Gemini because he needs to keep doing something with his hands. He still doesn't know how to act around Gemini who acts like he is madly in love with Fourth like he was when he was 22. The intensity of Gemini's gazes prove to be too much for Fourth and his mental health.

"Love..." Gemini says softly to Fourth, who is fussing over Gemini's blanket for what feels like the 100th time.

"Yes?" Fourth says, not looking at Gemini but being able to feel the intensity of Gemini's eyes on him.

Gemini holds his wrist, and Fourth freezes as Gemini says- well rather pleads with Fourth; "love please look at me."

Fourth does, and what he sees is Gemini's hurt puppy eyes staring at him in what looks like a pleading expression. Fourth's heart squeezes in his chest at the sight.

"Where we okay? I mean did we fight before the accident or something? Was our marriage in trouble?" Gemini asked seriously and Fourth wants to cry because he doesn't know how to explain that there wasn't even a marriage before the accident. That their marriage had died a long time ago.

"What? Why?" Fourth asks trying not to let the panic he was feeling show.

"I know the doctors explained that I am missing a good 10 year of my memories but you've been acting strange. I may have forgotten a decade of our marriage but I know you Fot and I know when something is wrong." Gemini says looking at Fourth like Fourth kicked a helpless puppy. Fourth's chest aches a little at that look.

"Gem..." Fourth says helplessly.

"Whatever it is I think we can make it work. We can fix it okay? I am sorry for what I did... I just don't want to lose you and I know for a fact that I would have fixes things before my accident. So let me fix them now. Please." Gemini pleads with him looking at him earnestly. Fourth can't stop the tears as he blinks at Gemini not knowing what to say.

What Gemini had said was probably what he wanted to hear a decade ago when he proposed the divorce to Gemini. Had Gemini objected to it he probably wouldn't have gone through with it. To know that Gemini truly believed that their relationship was worth fighting for would have made him see things clearer and maybe he too would have fought to save their marriage.

But then again Gemini had agreed, he didn't ask any questions and right then Fourth truly believed that their marriage was beyond saving. Fourth had felt like he was holding Gemini back, so he had let him go and proceeded with the divorce.

"Gem..." Fourth whispered, his eyes burning with tears and vision slightly blurry.

"I am sorry..." Gemini said and tugged Fourth by his wrist pulling him into an embrace. "I am sorry for everything okay. I will fix it. I may not remember but I will fix it. So please don't give up on us." Gemini whispered and Fourth could hear just from Gemini's voice that he was tearing up too, so he wrapped his arms around Gemini's torso and held him tightly and sobbed.

Gemini held him for almost an hour, letting him cry while he stroked his hair whispering comforting words to him. Telling him how much he loves him that Fourth actually believed him, he knew that Gemini loved him. Even when he had doubted it those days while the divorce proceedings were finalized, a part of knew that Gemini probably still loved him. It just hurt that Gemini didn't fight for their marriage, and it frustrated him that he himself had stopped fighting for their marriage and just gave up.

They never speak of the situation again but Fourth's behaviour changes towards Gemini now. When he comes to visit him in the hospital his smiles are more genuine, he let's Gemini hold him without flinching or tensing up. They even banter just like they used to without Fourth tip toeing around Gemini.

"Hey love." Gemini says beaming at him when Fourth comes over during one of Gemini's physiotherapy sessions.

"Hey baby." Fourth replies, smiling brightly at Gemini. His eyes are only trained at Gemini like how they always were back then that he failed to see Gemini's mother there.

"Hello Fourth." Gemini's mother says and Fourth startles, his smile dimming a bit.

"Hello Mae Ning." Fourth says bowing his head slightly.

Gemini beckons Fourth over for a hug making grabby hands at him that Fourth  finds endearing that he lets out a helpless smile striding over and hugging his said husband just as enthusiastically. He doesn't know what impression he is making on Mae Ning, since they both know this is all supposed to be pretend until Gemini gets his memories back. But Fourth finds himself not caring in indulging in the delusion that the man he loves so much loves him back even if it's all temporary.

"You guys are always so sweet that it gives me a toothache everytime I see you together." The physiotherapist says smiling at them.

"Ah Phi. I thought you were happily married." Gemini says with a sheepish smile after he parted from the hug, his hand resting at the small of Fourth's back.

"I am but my husband doesn't look at me the way your husband looks at you. I bet he didn't see any of us when he first entered like you are his whole universe or something." The physiotherapist responds and Fourth has to deal with the mortifying ordeal of being seen.

"Well he is my whole universe." Gemini says giving Fourth a kiss on the cheek. Fourth can feel Gemini's mother eyes on them and he is afraid to look at her to see the expression she might be wearing.

"I can't believe you guys have been married for a decade but you still look like newlyweds." The physiotherapist says with a chuckle.

Gemini fakes being exhausted just to cut the session short and the physiotherapist- bless her heart- indulges him. Praising him on his progress and setting up another appointment.