Remember Me

VIII

Gemini had been so sweet in assuring Fourth of his love for him. Everyday he would write his favourite poem from the books he had been reading for Fourth on a sticky paper and stick it on a tray of snacks he would leave just outside of Fourth's office door.

One time he wrote a poem from the Han dynasty that made Fourth finish off work early just to go climb on to his husband's lap and pepper his face with kisses. It had said;

"I want to be your love forever and ever,
Without break or decay.
When the hills are all flat,
The rivers are all dry.
When it thunders in winter,
When it snows in summer
When heaven and earth mingle,
Not till then will I part from you."

The other one that evoked strong emotions from Fourth was a poem from the northern song dynasty, and it has said;

"While I lean against the banister of a tall tower,
The breeze gently blows.
As I look into the distance,
The end of Spring arouses melancholy in my mind.
Surrounded by dewy grass at sunset,
I wonder who is able to understand my longing.
I would rather drink to intoxication.
One should sing when one has wine in hand,
But drinking to escape offers no reprieve.
I do not mind that my clothes are getting looser.
My lover is worthy of desire."

That one had made Fourth cry clinging on to Gemini like his life depended on it. Gemini had showered with kisses and affection whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

Gemini had been so sweet and kind and it had made Fourth feel incredibly guilty. It had felt like he was taking advantage of him. He was keeping Gemini away from everyone except the medical health professionals and his parents lest they say something they shouldn't. He knew it was unfair for him to keep Gemini away from the world and their friends. Gemini was so sweet and indulging that he never questioned Fourth about it.

Gemini trusted Fourth, and Fourth, he knew it wasn't right to rebuild their relationship on a foundation of lies even if it was lies by omission. Fourth knew he had to be honest with Gemini. Surely he can't lock up Gemini in their house on a mountain like a princess stuck in a tower. Fourth refuses to become the dragon that kept Gemini imprisoned.

He had a long phone call conversation with Mae Ning and Gemini's father about it, and he had explained that Gemini remembered some parts of their divorce even though not all. He had explained that he loved Gemini, and he wanted to rebuild their relationship but refused to do it on a foundation of lies. Eventually, they had relented and even offered to come, but Fourth refused. This was his burden to bear, and if Gemini hated him for it, then he would bear it.

He just hoped that Gemini would forgive him. He hoped that Gemini was telling the truth that nothing of God's green earth would make him leave Fourth, even if that thing was Fourth deceiving him.

So he cooked dinner that night, all of Gemini's favourites, and mentally prepared himself to break the little world he had built himself over the past few months. He prepared himself for the rejection he might receive. He really hoped Gemini would forgive him.

"You made all my favourites? What's the occasion? Did I forget an anniversary or something?" Gemini asked, and Fourth could see the rising panic in his eyes.

"No love. You didn't forget anything." Fourth said fondly, placing a chaste kiss on Gemini's lips.

"Is something wrong?" Gemini asked.

"I just wanted to tell you something important. I want you to remember everything, and some of the things I am going to tell you might be hard to hear." Fourth said, trying to keep his voice steady.