Stimming

21

March 2012, the Ellen show
Harry's POV
Louis always said he doesn't like tattoos. Louis also says he'll love me forever. So when I told him I was going to get a tattoo he was very hesitant to watch me get the tattoo but I managed to convince him to come with me. The whole car ride from the airport to the tattoo shop I was excited and Louis was kind of trying to convince me not to do it. Once I got the sparrows on my chest done he said they weren't as bad as he thought. I think he likes them but doesn't want to admit he was wrong. Either way, I want more.
"Harry." Louis' voice from the doorway makes me jump. "Sorry, did I scare you?"
"Yeah it's fine though. What do you want?"
"We're leaving soon. A van's coming to get us in like twenty minutes."
"Where are we going?"
"The Ellen show. You were just blabbing about it yesterday."
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."
"Clearly. Hurry up we're gonna be late." Louis walks out of the room before I can respond. I kind of think he's mad at me for some reason. I probably screwed something up again. It takes all of my willpower to force myself out of the hotel bed and put on clothes. Clothes suck. I wish I didn't have to wear them. But I have to. Running around the hotel to find all my things almost results in numerous crashes with Louis. He rolls his eyes at me when I apologize. That hurts. I can't stand when people are mad at me, especially Louis. My phone buzzes from the pocket of my jeans.
"Lou. The boys are waiting for us downstairs. The van's coming in a few minutes." I'm trying not to anger him any further. Louis simply brushes past me and slides on his shoes. He doesn't even wait for me before walking out of the hotel. He does hold the elevator door for me.
Liam, Niall, and Zayn are waiting for us with Paul in the lobby. None of us say anything on the way out to the van. There are quite a few fans waiting outside for us. We each sign a few things and take a few pictures. Hopefully no one notices the fake smile I plastered on my face. Paul ushers us into the van quickly. We all sit in our usual positions, Liam and Zayn in the middle, me and Louis in the back, and Niall in the front. Louis doesn't look at me when we sit down. The small distance between us feels like miles and miles of space. The van starts quickly and we speed off. Louis continues his gaze out the window.
"Are you mad at me?" I mumble, unsure if Louis will be able to hear me over the roaring car engine. He doesn't answer. I'm not brave enough to repeat myself. The drive to Ellen's studio is quick, and we're being shoved on stage before I can even blink. Louis still hasn't spoken to me. We sing our few songs together before sitting down for a proper interview.
"Hello boys! How are you all today?" A chorus of goods, wells, and greats follow. "Good to hear, good to hear. It was lovely hearing you sing. Are you releasing new music soon?"
"We're planning to release an album later this year and we're currently in the process of writing some songs." Liam answers for all of us.
"Wonderful. Have you been enjoying America?" All five of us start talking at the same time about various culture shocks, how much louder American restaurants are, how big the gaps in public restrooms are, etc. "Oh wow. You've got quite a bit to say. Settle down boys. Harry, you've gotten a tattoo since you've been here? What'd you do? Go straight from the airport to the tattoo shop or?"
"Ummm... yeah we went straight from the airport to the tattoo parlor." I answer.
"Why don't you show us your tattoo? Don't flash us though." I pull my shirt down to reveal the two sparrows on either side of my chest. Still facing Ellen, I check to make sure they're both entirely visible. "Don't show me, show them." I turn to show all the screaming girls in the crowd. They scream even louder than they were before. "And what about your personal lives? How many of you are single?" Niall and I both raise our hands. Louis usually joins us in this act but this time he keeps his hand down. That confuses me. "So you three have girlfriends?"
"Yep." Louis answers first. Something inside me hurts when he says that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Louis slams the hotel door shut.
"Who the hell is she?" I scream, hating myself for it but also feeling too angry to react differently.
"Why the hell do you care? It's not like you're the one walking around with her!" Louis yells back.
"I deserve to know who the hell you're cheating on me with! I'm you're boyfriend for gods sake!"
"I don't have an answer for you! I don't know! I can't deal with you right now!" Louis storms into the separate bedroom of our hotel. I finally realize the tears streaming out of my eyes. I can't deal with being yelled at. Especially by someone I care about as much as Louis. I curl up on the couch with my stuffed cat, Pepper. I've had her forever and she always helps me. I can't tell if I have an absence seizure or just zone out but the clock by tv shows that over half an hour passed since Louis stormed out. I hear a door creak open slowly from behind me but I don't look back at him. Louis sits on the floor right in front of my face.
"What do you want?" I grunt, not wanting to see him right now.
"Just read this." Louis pulls out his phone and opens a text message. Hey Louis! It's Simon here. I'm messaging because you and Harry are allegedly in a relationship and that is not allowed. I've asked a few people who are with you frequently and they've all confirmed that you are dating. Because of this you must claim to be dating Eleanor Calder, a lovely young woman we've hired for you to go around pretending to date. Legally you cannot prevent us from doing this without breaking your contract. I've set it up for you to be asked who you're dating today, you must say you have a girlfriend but are currently keeping it private. Harry will be given his own fake girlfriend as soon as we find one. Best wishes, Simon. I don't think I fully understand what the message is saying (screw autism) but I understand the fake girlfriend shit show. We've already been lectured on pretending not to be dating, saying we're single but this is a whole new level.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was upset. I don't want to date anyone but you."
"Yeah but if you told me then I wouldn't have been mad at you."
"I know. I'm sorry. Can I hug you?" I nod. Louis hugs me the best he can considering he's sitting on the floor and I'm curled in a ball on the couch. "I'm so sorry love."
"It's alright."
So much for weekly/biweekly. I did update my one-shot book tho so that's something I guess. The story was 1234 words and I like that. My life is being weird but I finally have an autism assessment and I'm going to an occupational therapist tomorrow (I don't want to but I am) so yeah
Love you all and I'll try to update more frequently!