𝐍𝐚𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐚.

56

Jah.

After sitting and thinking for a good 10 minutes, I finally gather myself and drive out of the parking lot.

Spragga gudsly leff out already, cause me sure Sasha happy she go get fi see pretty girl.

No want she see me.

No want dem see me when me a go up deh either.

I shake my head and drive out of the parking lot, heading to Spragga's place.

•      •      •

"Yo, Shotta!" Fuck dah bredda yah a holler out me name so fah?

I don't answer.

For the past 30 minutes that I've been here, I haven't left this sofa.

When I came in, I plopped myself on the sofa, letting my thoughts consume me.

Really deven care. If I tell you that I can feel a hint of emotion, I'm lying.

Feel like me deven deh yah.

"Bro," Spragga sits beside me.

Didn't even know how it happened, but I just let the tears fall.

"Dawg," Spragga pulls me into a brotherly hug. "Dawg, a—a no your fault bro, none a we neva know say day woulda happen,"

I don't bother to respond. It's actually my fault. Who di gyal falla backa? Annuh Spragga, Dawka, Nor Sinna. A me. Fucking me.

So who's there to blame? Nobody but me damn self.

Wish me coulda wull dah gyal deh and murda im again, and again, and again.

"Badman, yuh just siddng yasso and shed tears whull day, youth. Yuh have a youth pan the way, who might no grow up and know cause his or her mother no member say yuh exist.

Look all pahh dat. The mother a yuh youth deven memba yuh. Yuh affi get up and fight fih unnuh badman, the three a unnuh." Real talk, Spragga. Tell him again.

"Badman," I sniffle, sitting up. "When yuh look back pann, a my fault. A me ih gyal come deh wid. Wah me look pahh Shadia and tell her say? Say me carry gyal come pann yuh stong, she and gyal catch up and she shoot har? How dat sound to yuh bredda?" I hiss.

"Me get weh yahh come from, but at least dweet fi the youth. If when yuh tell har, and she no get it your way and no wahh forgive, just lowe har. As long as yuh did deh fih yuh youth, that's all," He shrugs.

I do get what Spragga just said, but me and the 'lowe har' part nahh go work.

I really do love Shadia. And God knows I'm sorry for all that took place last-night. But I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

Have more kids, get married, live our lives together...at peace.

Know me too you fi dat, but that's what I want. And whether she forgives me or not, I'm not going to stop until she does.

And I'm standing on that. Whether her or her parents like it or not.

"Ahh, ago give har sometime though, goodsly talk to har pahh me strong or weekend." I tell him.