Never Knew

Chapter 22 - My apologies

I shake my head as if I could reset my thoughts like that. "I need to get home, but um first I'm going to grab my clothes outside." She says slowly. 

Ashton and I both stand up at the same time and he shoots me another glare, that's three already.

"I'll take her home." He says quickly. I scoff, of course, he wants to take her home. He was still in love with her, last night didn't help that, but to be fair it didn't help the way I was already feeling either. 

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Ashton's POV

Jax thought that I'd let him take Evelyn home after last night, that is comical. I wait for Evelyn to put on her clothes and tell her I'm taking her home. She had given me a nervous smile and had given Jax a heart-warming one, that had hurt.

Last night kept replaying in my head like a broken record, it had been months since I had touched her. Now I was feigning for her time, for her to look at me the way she used to before I shattered the image she had of me. I missed her love; she wasn't a calm lover she was a passionate one. I loved that about her, I was so scared of losing her to the circumstances of life that I created an issue between us and lost her anyway. 

On the drive to her house, I could feel her looking at the side of my face. I had so much to say but I couldn't find the words to speak. I was scared, even though I would've never admitted it. 

"You, okay?" She asks. 

I keep my eyes on the road but can't help but sigh deeply, a sigh full of longing to be with her alone. 

"I'm alright. Can we please talk now?" I ask, still not looking at her. I'm scared that if I take one sober glimpse at her I'll crack open right there and start begging for her back.

I make a turn into her street and then into her driveway. The elegance of her house coming into view in all its magnificence, the ocean not far behind. She hasn't answered me yet and I start getting nervous, but I keep my composure. I finally park the car and turn to look at her, I take all of her in. Her hair up, it's gotten so long, her light eyes, the subtle frown on her face. Evelyn meets my gaze and I rub my chin waiting for an answer.

"What is it Ash, what did you want to talk about exactly?" She says, dread surrounding her question. 

I tilted my head a bit, I felt so sensitive today what the fuck was wrong with me even her attitude right now hurts me. Her expression grows softer when she looks deeper into my eyes. I close my eyes and rub a hand over my face, wondering how to say what I want to say. 

"I-Evelyn I don't want to scare you away, so stop me at any point if I do because I rather be in your life as whatever you want me to be than have you shut me out. Which last time you did, it was well-deserved. But Eve I fucking miss you, I need to know if you lost feelings-I- I need to." I managed to say, my heart was sore, and I deserved it.

She blinks once, twice, and then proceeds to look away from me. When she looks back her eyes are a bit watery.

"Lost feelings for you huh?" She asks, her brows knitted together as though I had made a terrible joke. I'm puzzled for a second and I see her grow weary. 

"God, for someone as smart as you Ashton... I was fucking in love with you, it's been three months. When you're actually in love with someone feelings don't just go away in three fucking months." She says in a perturbed manner, pushing the car door open and slamming it loudly. She doesn't walk into her house but starts walking towards the side, past her house towards the beach. 

Fuck, I pissed her off. Great. 

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Evelyn's POV