The stars and the sun- Rudy Pankow

12 | page 26

Rudy's pov

That night I couldn't sleep.

I hated seeing people I care for, in those types of states. But when she left me at the balcony, I knew she wouldn't let me get that close to her again.

I knew she was vulnerable, but I knew that at that point, I wasn't even close to understanding the depth her mind could get to, that I was far away from getting her to tell me why she's so fragile when it comes to her thighs, but I also realised something else.

I've known the girl for barely two months, why would she let me in on the depths of her heart and mind? Why would someone who's been through so much shit would trust someone like me? I knew I had no right in demanding that kind of information from her, so I've figured she'll tell me when time is right for her.

But I couldn't explain it , I knew that there's a part of my body still curious. There was a part of me that couldn't stop listening to her talk, or laugh, I enjoyed teaching her how to surf, I enjoyed seeing her wear my hoodies, and I knew I enjoyed being in her embrace. Her fingers always felt light and comforting on my skin, and her small frame fitted perfectly with my tall and built one.

I knew that pressuring her into telling me her entire trauma would make her push me away, and she was one of my best friends, so I came to the conclusion that she's eventually gonna come to me to open up, I shouldn't rush her.

...

Back to Stella's pov

I woke up and got my stuff ready for set. It's been about a week since my roof encounter with Rudy, and our friendship kept on like nothing happened.

When I got to the Chateau set by the beach I saw Jonas talking to the camera man and I could see Rudy and Chase sitting in the house talking. Jonas called me and Rudy and he greeted me with a hug. We were both already in character costumes and were after hair and makeup.

Jonas brought us both to the front porch, where we'll have our scene filmed. I didn't know which scene we are filming but I had the entire episode memorised, so it doesn't really matter.

Jonas stood with both of us and started talking, "so right now we're gonna film my personal favourite scene of JJ and Jocelyn. Rudy remember the one I told you about last night?"

Rudy nodded.

"So guys, this is the couple's first kiss. See here? It's page 26 of script."

I forgot about that. Alright I mean it's nothing right? I've kissed so many co stars before, so what's that right? The entire world had sort of seen me having sex with Jacob Elordi on euphoria so just making out with Rudy? I can do that.

No need to be nervous Stella it's just a kiss, with your co star, who's also one of your best friends, and he's hot, like crazy hot, and oh lord why is Jonas telling him to take his shirt off? Oh fuck not the abs. 

but it alright Stella no overthinking right?

My conversation with myself was stopped by the sound of Jonas's voice calling my name. "Stella? Stella you listening?"

Oh shit was I staring?

"Yes sorry, what were you saying?" Rudy sent me a smile and went listening to Jonas.