What If We Had It All

Politricks

"Politricks"

Javier

|37|

"Mi a duppy a'ready." Everything and everyone in the room stills as all eyes fall on me, all looks of concern. The heated discussion they were all engaged in quieted down to nothing but quiet mumbles and murmurs as they tried to comprehend what I'd just said. Just like that, I was the centre of attention again.

The smoke warmed my insides as I take a long drag of the spliff before finally letting it free giving my lungs a brief relief.

There wasn't anything more to add or take away from my statement, really. It was that simple, that's my exact view on all this. I had meant what I said, I was dead already. . .figuratively speaking.

Between all my unhealthy habits whether it was the violence or all the substance I abuse, there wasn't much life left in me. I'd accepted that a long time ago.

So while everyone was here getting worked up about reinforcements, to soothe their egos and fearful minds, I wasn't. If this was what they planned to do after every small altercation then they didn't belong here, but there was one way in and there's only one way out of this life. They knew what they were bargaining for when they signed up for this.

They didn't stop to think that maybe the other side was even more worried than they were, they were outnumbered and lacked a proper leader or support system for that matter. I could go on for days about all that was wrong in their camp. Their defense is weak and played out. I've seen all their plans before they even get a chance to execute them.

They acted impulsively and messy, both of which were reasons they were slowly crumbling.

We didn't even have to do anything to bring them down. We could just watch from the sidelines and they would tear their own selves down to threads right before our eyes.

"So all uno a kill up uno self bout this and that. . ." I zero my gaze on all of them one by one, only pausing to take another pull of my weed. ". . .it nuh mek nuh bloodclaat sense." I said, coolly.

"Mi dead a'ready." I repeat with more assertion in my tone. "Wah kinda war uno a talk bout'? Wah uno mean 'bout who dem go plan fi go fah next or kill?" I almost laugh but I don't. Yes, it was true that they might be stupid enough to come for me but let them come. "Better uno rest dah argument deh caz' it all bigger dan uno."

There was no war until I said there was one and it wasn't up for discussion either.

I was a dead man walking and anyone who dared to contest that was given the fate as well, good as dead.

They all look like children being reprimanded for misbehaving. Dandre sat in the far corner on his phone, he didn't care about anything that didn't involve Arielle.

The only reason I wasn't expressing how angry I was with their weak display was because I didn't want to kill my high.
But it was slowly starting to annoy me so I had to put a stop to it completely.

"Look like uno tired, go home and get some sleep or fuck a one gyal, do sumn. This nuh look good at all." I dismissed them, calling it a day. They start filtering out of the room one after the other, leaving just Dandre and I.

Dandre looks up from his phone finally realizing that we were the only ones in here. "Mi hear yah mek some likkle fuck up talk, 'bout dead a'ready like yuh naav' nothing and nobody a live fah. Mi nuh rate dem ting deh."

He got up giving me a small nod and with that he left the room without a word more. He wasn't the talkative type but when he did speak, he made sense.

I guess he was paying more attention than I'd initially thought.