What If We Had It All

Daddy Issues

"Daddy Issues"

|08|

Kalíanna

After watching the chaos that unfolded on the news. Surprisingly, it took place here in St. James. Note the sarcasm. I instantly thought of Javier. After that night with the drugs on his backseat, I couldn't help but think of what other things he might have been involved in.

But if I wanted to find out any solid information, I would have to be strategic.

I'm not dumb.

The wealth he has acquired is way too vast to be from one stream of income.

Upon calling him, he assured me he was fine.

He didn't seem to be anywhere near the scene...I was relieved.

But would he lie to me?

Yes

And that's exactly why I'm scared for him.

If I questioned him about it, I won't get any answers...atleast not so easily.

I sigh throwing my sheets off of my body.

I wander out of my room and down the stairs in search of something to snack on. This is my way of coping: eating.

I walk into the kitchen and I'm greeted by my mother who seems to be preparing some sort of tea for herself.

"Why aren't you sleeping, don't you have work tomorrow?" She questions, stirring the contents in her mug with a spoon.

"I can't sleep." I respond, opening the pantry.

I take out a bag of chips and a bar of chocolate before closing the door.

"Kalíanna," I look in her direction humming in response. I really don't wish to seem so distant with my parents. It breaks me more than they know. But it's an on-going cycle that doesn't seem to come to an end. They do something unforgiving, yet I forgive them. But I can never forget those awful things.

"Yuh can talk to me eno." She says, grasping the mug in her palms.

I cannot

I remember countless occasions where I've told her something and everytime we have a disagreement it gets thrown back in my face.

"I know," I lie.

"Good night." She says as I leave the kitchen."

"Night."

I walk into my room and close the door behind me. I decide to FaceTime Javier. If he has nothing to hide, he'll answer.
He picks up on the second ring. I feel bad for assuming the worst of him.

Maybe he genuinely wasn't involved.

He appears to be in his room, no shirt, controller in hand and a spliff behind his ear. I can't help but smile at the screen.

He glances at me momentarily.

There are a series of gunshots sounds in the background but I know it's from the game he was currently playing.

Call of Duty?

"How yah smile suh, mine eno." He taunts in a playful manner.

"A wah mi cya smile again?" I laugh, biting a piece of my chocolate bar. If it were anyone else I probably would care how awful I look right now.

"Never seh dat..." He trails off before hissing his teeth. "Teamate dem wucklis' yuh fuck." I laugh at how seriously he took the game.