𝐌𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐚𝐢 𝐓𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐧

𝟒𝟓- 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬

I tried. I really did. I tried very hard to try to move on. Try to start a new life. Try to keep him in my heart as a good memory and look forward to something new. But it didn't work out.

He was supposed to be my endgame.

He was supposed to be my forever.

He was supposed to always stay by my side as my love, my Rian.

But he left. He left me all alone.

For me he became the reason for my entire existence, but for him, for him I am left being nothing but a stranger. A stranger who he might not even remember by now.

He said a body can't survive without its heart and soul.

He was right.

I can't survive without him anymore.

There is no reason left for me to wait for the next morning and see what it brings with itself. And without a reason, we are nothing.

I don't want to live as nothing or a nobody. It's better if I cease my existence.

If I cannot live happily, for even once in my lifetime, what is the reason to live? I don't have any.

My eyes move towards the glass window which gives me a view of the living room, where my entire family, except for Ariv bhai and maa, is sitting. Their faces fell down with sadness and worry. Probably because of me and my condition. I have locked myself in my room for these past three months. Didn't come out until very important, probably just three or four times in the entire period. My family has been worried sick about me. They suggested that I go for therapy, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I don't want to recover. I don't want to live. I don't want to be happy.

I don't deserve it anyways.

I give one last glance to them before moving three steps backwards. One more step and it's done.

I am aquaphobic, not extreme but to the point where if I enter the swimming pool, I will drown and die soon. Because of this, our swimming pool is not filled with water on most days, only when Ariv bhai and his friends organise a pool party or something. But today, I filled it. No one noticed it because no one notices these small things nowadays. They have bigger problems to deal with, alongside worrying about me. And I am glad no one noticed.

It's finally time now.

I looked at them for the last time and a lone tear escaped my eyes, after three months.

My hold around the sharp blade tightened and I glided it over my wrist before taking another step back and water splashed from the pool.

I am surrounded by water. Blood fell out of the cut and mixed with the water. It didn't hurt though.

Nothing hurts me now. Not after that day.

But it's scary. The water is scary and dark.

The demons are coming towards me. They were waiting for this.

A whirlpool is going to hit me anytime soon.

My limbs start to move by themselves , trying to get out of here. My lungs start to constrict. My gaze turns heavy and I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I cannot breathe anymore. I cannot move my body anymore.