Forgetting Adaline

Chapter 22 - Actions vs Consequences

"What does that mean for us? She doesn't seem like a rat." What does it mean? The elusive answer to that pivotal question is the root cause of all my current problems.

"I don't know" I grit out begrudgingly. "But we're going to find out."

My whole day has been shit.

Despite of my resolve to banish Addy from my thoughts, she's snuck back in time after time until the lack of progress drove me to drink; something I rarely indulge in.

All attempts to drown out the voice in my head telling me I was a complete asshole have, so far, been entirely unsuccessful. Apparently no amount of alcohol can erase the image of blue eyes looking at me with so much hurt and fear that I feel physically ill.

Drunk Harry wants to scream at her to stop looking at him like that, even though she's now just a figment of my imagination playing over and over in my head. Real Addy probably never wants to look at me again. No matter how hard I try to control myself and the conversation with her it slips out of my control every damn time and ends in complete disaster.

Tink wasn't home this morning but stopped in, at my insistance, before coming to work. She was unable to coax a reply from Addy through her bedroom door, but insisted that she had opened the door enough to see her wrapped in blankets and sleeping the afternoon away.

It's not that I even care at this point. I don't owe her anything - I've been honest with her from the start about who I am as a person and the moral code I live by. She has no right to invade my head with those big, sad eyes; no, if anything, she owes me. I've done nothing but protect her while she's kept huge secrets from me. I am actively avoiding the alien sensation in my chest that feels a little too much like hurt fucking feelings for my liking.

A soft hum brings me out of my thoughts and into the present. "You ok, babe?" The blonde tucked into my side asks in a sultry voice as she trails her lips over my neck.

Ok, so maybe my night hasn't been all bad.

After many mind-numbing hours spent reaching out to associates, scheduling meetings and scouring the internet with Topher we've come up with exactly nothing to explain Evan and Addy's presence in Melbourne and my business. And when we ran out of leads and ideas I started drinking; my mind and body welcoming the distraction.

I am still self-aware enough to realise I should have stayed in my office but it quickly became too claustrophobic; the four walls closing in and only serving to remind me of my ever growing list of problems. I needed a distraction; stress relief. It took very little persuasion from Matt to get me into the VIP section of the club - although strangely enough he had seemed very disapproving in my choice of company for this evening.

I smile down at the woman - who's name I have already forgotten thanks to my disinterest and intoxication - reassuringly and try and ignore how wrong everything feels. A few months ago the beauty in my arms would have been everything I look for in a one night stand. Tall, curvy and blonde. But now I can't help but feel like I am being...unfaithful. A ridiculous notion considering Addy and I are not even close to being in a situation where we owe each other fidelity.