Piece by Piece

Twenty Two

CADE POV

The next month and a half was a busy blur of training, creating more content for our website, and spending time with family.  Chase and Natalie visited us twice before Blake and Eddie arrived to essentially sublet our apartment while we were traveling for a month.  Margot and I had a blast showing them around the city while getting prepared for our big road trip.

We rented a camper van and made our way through Yellowstone park before heading to the Oregon Coast so we could see the Pacific ocean.  After discussing it with our accountant we decided to donate Margot's car for the tax write off since it was older than mine and only worth maybe $2,000.  The money would not hurt, but the shelter my mom works with was thankful for the extra vehicle.

Our road trip took us to Yellowstone National Park over 4th of July.  It was insanely busy but we found a quiet spot to watch fireworks then headed to a hotel for two nights of relaxation.  We took our time driving through the country, stopping when necessary so Margot could focus on work projects or I could video chat with clients using reliable WiFi.  Our phones were set as hotspots but that was not always reliable, especially for the intense work my Koala did for her day job.

Life was not perfect, of course, but we did what we could to make it work. The van broke down at one point in late July so we stayed at a local hotel for about a week while it was fixed.  We were near Spokane, Washington so there were things we could do but considering the stress this put us under it was hard to do much beyond handle what was in front of us.  Margot used that time to focus on her day job and we got caught up on laundry but otherwise it was an annoying issue to handle.

Worse than annoying.  The van breaking down almost broke us as a couple.

I almost relapsed.  

The entire situation was made more stressful since my credit card information was stolen at the same time.  I spent hours trying to get the situation fixed between phone calls and online chats to determine the issue.  My business debit card was locked thanks to using it out of our regular state which also took hours to unravel.  We notified our banks of the traveling we would be doing ahead of time then realized through this mess that it did not matter.  Margot was using her personal debit card and savings so we could handle paying for our needs, but the mess caused an anger I hadn't felt in almost 2 years to well inside of me.  

My bad attitude came out toward Margot when she was dealing with nasty comments on our social media from a bitter person that wanted us to work with them.  When we refused for a number of valid reasons revolving around their attitude and negative perspective, they lashed out online.  

Margot had been barely sleeping thanks to new projects at her marketing job plus handling social media content to give me time to focus on our banking problems.  The extra stress on her shoulders was inevitable but my attitude made everything worse.  I was so laser focused on dealing with the mess in front of me that I allowed my temper to flare, beginning a huge fight.

At the peak of our argument I left the hotel room, not even taking a key.  The autopilot that was always dormant came screaming back to the forefront while I debated what I wanted to get.  What did I want to drink so I could drown out the chaos in my mind?  I got into the elevator then made my way to the hotel bar and reached up to signal I needed assistance from the bartender.

Margot grabbed my hand.

She had followed me and raced down the stairs with her hotel key then took me away from the counter before the bartender even realized I was there.  I was silent, furious she interrupted my decision to break my sobriety but by the time we were back in our room it hit me that yet again, the woman I loved saved me.