To Catch A Dream

7. Knife Shaped Hand Prints

✭What's the point in anything?✭

I back into the darkened corner, my eyes squeezed shut in a way that all but burns.

"All—" the boy's eyes searched for me in the dark. I could feel his scouring gaze trying to find mine. "Clear." I open my eyes at the disappointed sigh he lets slip.

I can't help but watch as his face pulls into one of dismay. I wish more than anything that he hadn't seen me the first day he arrived or any day after.

I wish he could forget me. Give up. There's nothing beneath this shell of a person. There's nothing to discover. Everything about me is on the surface for him to see yet he's adamantly trying to dig deeper.

There is no deeper. This is it.

A broken woman who can't even tell that she's being abused and damn sure can't tell why. It's upsetting to see all of the progress of everyone here. The newer people and the ones who have been here even before me. But I'm forced to watch myself fall behind.

Everyone is moving forward. Everyone but me.

After a few seconds, Cameron walks out of the shadowed space with his head down. It's almost as if a needle is stabbing deeper and deeper into my heart every time he's around.

I blink and the boy is gone. I walk out of the shadows with my head wrapped around the conversation that took place only minutes ago.

He thinks it's his fault. He thinks he's done something for me to not like him. Of course he does. As soon as he arrived I treated him horribly. But I'm only doing what I feel will keep him safe.

I have to.

Just then a hand wraps around my wrist and I'm pulled into a dark room. A cold room. A familiar room. The light switches on and I hold in the audible gasp of fear that threatens to expose me.

Kai leans against a desk, his hand still on the button that controls the light. His gaze is solely on me and his eyes are hard. Completely unlike the faded, unguarded look he had on for his wife.

"What? Hm?" he walks toward me and I can't help but look around hoping Zaire is around to stop him. She always stops him before he goes too far. Unless he's alone. He happens to be alone far too often.

"What you didn't think I saw you. Both of you. Together." his finger brushes against my cheek and fight to keep from flinching away.

"You two look like you're getting on pretty well. Getting cozy together." before I know it, the brush of his finger turns into his entire hand gripping me by my hair and hauling me up until only the tips of my shoes touch the floor.

My hands go to his trying to loosen his grip but it doesn't falter, only gets tighter.

"You just don't seem to get it, do you? You are the most ungrateful, self-centered, spoiled little bitch I have ever fucking met! You don't care that me and Zai have kept you off the streets with nowhere to go and nothing to eat? We treated you like family! And here you are being a whore for some college dropout." he screams in my face.

His hair falls in front of his eyes only adding to the menacing look he wears.

"If it were up to me I would've gotten rid of you a long time ago. You're deadweight to everyone here." he lets me go after tears begin to well in my eyes and I fall to my knees, the wood cracking and splintering under my weight.

My hand flies to my face to wipe my tears but I make the mistake of mumbling my thoughts as he walks away.

"What was that?" he turns around, anger bleeding from every opening on his body. He squats in front of me.

My bottom lip trembles but I don't allow the sudden burst of confidence to melt away just yet. "I said," I harden my voice. "I'd rather be dead than live in this hell you call a circus, dreaming of the day I die." his jaw tightens and his eyebrow twitches.

Before the next second dies, his hand meets my cheek without remorse sending me stumbling to catch myself.

I feel a cold, sharp blade push against my neck before it slices through my skin. I cry out, wanting the pain to stop.

He grips my jaw in his hand and forces me to look at him. "If I could make your dreams come true, trust me, I would." Kai snatches his hand away and walks out of the room.

I don't wait around for him to come back and decide he has more anger to let out. Instead, I jump to my feet and walk out into the dim, dusty halls. The mixture of a moving train and my lightheadedness causing me to stumble.

As I walk closer and closer to my room, my tears don't have the strength to keep themselves at bay. I try my best to stay conscious, not wanting to be in a hall when I lose it.

I bump into a slightly taller figure and his arms reach out to steady me. When I look up I notice Cameron's expression.

Worry.

"Sam—" he takes in my almost drunken-like state. "What, what happened? Why are you—" he notices. "Oh my god! What happened to your face?" I turn my head but he lifts my head again, this time his eyes fall to the bloody gash in my neck.

He pales. "You can't tell me that you fell, Samira," he says, his voice straightforward. He's asking for an explanation.

"I'm, really tired—" I walk past him but he doesn't let me go so easily.

"Sam—"

"Please just let me go." he looks like he doesn't want to. Like he'd rather do anything but let me go. But. He also looks like he wants to respect my wishes.

So, he lets me.

He lets me. But I wish he hadn't.

- A moment of silence :(