NEFARIOUS • JJK

• 7 • revolver rage

I'm choked hard against the glass in a matter of mere blinking seconds.

I struggle back. Scuffle to take oxygen which was lowering rapidly from my lungs. Black spots danced around my vision. Everything happened so swiftly, I didn't realise I was halfway to death until my vision allowed me to see my husband's tanzanites buzz with an iron rage. A growl more frightening than a wolf's cut through his throat.

Of course, he didn't enjoy or consent my behaviour one bit. He despised...physical pleasure of this kind.

His teeth grit which makes his jaw flex, and the next second, he lets me go. I land like a puddle of water at his feet. "Maledetta stronza," he cursed rough before taking a leaping stride away from me. Like he can't bear to see me for one more second or he'll murder me in the cruelest way possible.

I coughed my rib cage out, scratching sensation in my throat not tingling down. Through the misty web of my tears, I saw him storming off in a horrendous temper. Merda. In a learned fancy, he removed a gun from his back pocket, I didn't know it was there, and shot a random column to probably pacify himself. I flinch inwards when the debris on the wall rains down. He continues walking off, screaming terrible curses and shoots at anything which comes in his way.

I am trying not to make my neck ache while inhaling when I hear a bunch of terrified screams echo from outside. "Rimani nel tuo limite del cazzo, bastardo!" His Italian accent becomes thicker, less posh. The gunshots and screams give me a fair idea of what is happening. He's shooting people to empty his rage which he couldn't take out on me. I'm damn sure I triggered it.

Usually bodyguards, maids and some of the workers stay awake at night cause we never know what might happen, he might be going at it at them. Slowly, I hear the screams fade away into wails and I try to run out in my best capacity. Past the falling debris. My bare feet step on sharp stones but I run out. All the black cars are zooming out of the majestic gate at an insane pace. Rush. The entire mansion is awake by now.

I look around slowly, expecting bad, I get the worst. Guards are bleeding on the floor, dead. Angela, one of the maids, is taking her last breaths. She's been shot right near the heart, her body trembles pitifully when she tries to reach out to me. I see destruction left behind, because of me. I don't go around trying to help anyone, there's no point. But, I stare. Stare at everyone dying. My feet, now bleeding due to stepping on the debris, leave a red trail behind wherever I walk. Breath still comes with slivers of pain.

Would it have been better if I had just shot at him?

"Oh, dear." A soft cry which I know is Bella's falls on my ear so I turn. Guilty but not sorry. She takes Angela's head into her lap and begins caressing. She's just about to die.

"She's dead," I tell Bella, not understanding why she's mourning over the body. She's gone so what's the point. What I say gives me more cries in return.

"M-My sister," she wails, clutching the head to her chest. I didn't know she had a sister, and it was Angela.

I feel alienated from the despair. I saunter away from the scene, where everybody lays dead because of my husband's deeds. Does one kiss cause such a commotion? Why does he not like it? Does he not like me? How can I make him like me? I'm certain of one thing though, there are reasons of why he won't kill me. He wants me alive. Otherwise he could have choked me to death, but he left my neck with regrets.

I wanna kiss him again. Felt so right.

I'll make him like my kisses.

•••

My eyes open to an afternoon sun.

First thing I see is Bella wearing a completely black attire. She's dusting off the lamp near the sofas, I try to prop myself up but simmer back in. I'm on the sofa, it's so soft I can't bring myself to pull up. I remember sleeping near the main door out of pure exhaustion.