Loving You In the Dark

Chapter 2 - Easy Choice

Even after 5 more hours of school, and a torturous, thigh-burning hour of swimming, every word of that letter was engraved into my brain. It was as if somebody decided to scrape the surface of my brain with hot charcoal and write all the contents on that piece of paper. 

So here I was, sitting on my desk chair, one hand resting my chin in its palm, while the other grasping the letter with a sweaty hand. I sat there, analyzing and trying to break down what the meaning of this letter was. What was the main purpose? Why was this letter targeted towards me? I ran a shaky hand through my hair, as I heaved a sigh from exasperation.

I despised the fact that one piece of paper, and perhaps around a hundred words could make me feel as if my stomach was tumbling and doing handstands and cartwheels. I despised how one letter could falter me; and I hated that with every fibre of my body. I couldn't understand if I was feeling a certain desperation tugging on my sleeve that I truly wanted someone to... put me in high regard, admire me, or be fond of me in a romantic or maybe sexual way. Whether male or female.

I bit my lip hard as I thought about that; I could practically feel myself gradually become as idiotic and preposterous as, perhaps, Samuel. 

I honestly had no experience with all this "secret admirer" shit; and with all these absurd thoughts that were running through my mind, I couldn't determine the fine line between the logical way of disposing this letter, between the actual want of me to keep it.

I wrapped my phone around my fingers and proceeded to complete the passcode quickly as I scanned through my contacts. 

Samuel Ashington.

He had given me his number no matter how many times I insisted that I didn't need his number. However, being a defiant ass, he still gave it to me as I gave him mine.

One press on his name on the screen would mean that would be the first time I would be calling him, not Samuel calling me, which he did almost every single day.

I pressed the phone close to my ear as I heard it making its buzz and light vibration, signifying that it was making the call. I started biting my nails, which was a habit that I committed on feelings of anxiety and nervousness. Something that I usually never felt. 

The phone was answered rather quickly by Samuel, and I could catch loud background noise coming from his line. There were loud shouts, people shouting, TV shouting, I think he was also shouting... 

"Samuel, what the fuck is going on there,"

"My family's watching a hockey game; and it's getting very intense," Samuel said first, before I could hear a faint click sound and him shutting his bedroom door to block out all the noise. "BUT! That's besides the point, why are you calling? It must be super important because you never called me before!" He exclaimed.

I could already imagine his stupid, cheeky smile in my un-imaginative mind.

"Erm, yeah, it's important. You have to help me," I could sense an automatic hint of worry or concern as the words rolled out of my tongue. "I- How do I explain this..." My words trailed off as I racked my brain trying to find the right words to shape my situation; kind of like finding professional words that deemed fitting for an essay. 

"Just spill it out, did you think about me sending those videos?"

"Ew, no," 

"Then what, Seb?" I sighed heavily before dropping my head into both of my palms as I thought about how odd this situation is.

"Someone gave me a letter,"

"A letter of a scholarship to Stanford?" Samuel chuckled softly through the phone.