"Hurt people hurt people"
that is a phrase that I have always believed in.
That is also maybe the reason why that when people hurt me, I decide to understand them. The root of all pain and scars came from a long way.
From being broken to pieces, to deciding to never be a victim anymore. From adapting to an environment that hurts, to learning that you must be the predator to not be the one getting hurt.
The teachings of life was never easy. The regrets of hurting someone would be a mark larger than your first ever scar.
"To be like the person who have hurt you in the past", a realization that drives chills down to my spine and freezes the entirety of my whole being.
A sin that cannot be washed away by time, nor the amount of sorry you can say, not even after your death.
Hurt people hurt people.
I have always understood and would repeatedly kiss you every after blow, every after fall, and every after bruise.
Yes, it would hurt but I could imagine how sad and scared you must have been when you experienced those yourself.
That punch which I never would have imagined you doing to me, it must have happened to you before without my knowledge as well.
The way you made yourself big and fought back.
The way you stood your grounds to hurt me in ways that you have become superior to me. It must be because you're not able to do it when you were cornered, that I never know of. That now, I became an opportunity, someone whom you never thought would fight back if you would hurt me.
That scratch you made that cried the sole thing that reminds of our connection as a family. Ruptured my outer skins and the reason of my loud painful screams. A new mark that will remind of unerasable hurtful memory between us. It must have been sad when the same thing's done to you as well. As scars reminded of the times you got hurt.
The way you kept on going no matter how I screamed for you to stop. The already dried tears, weary crying mouth, numb and aching body, and my confused mind on what was this all about. It must have been so scary when through the exact same things.
To cry for help and to have receive no mercy
from the hands of your abuser.
To ask for everything to just finally stop, as the same painful things continue to happen ...again, again, again...........and again.
I guess you got blinded by a moment that you thought, everyone else is your enemy.
You got so hurt and scarred so much to the point that even I and all those people that loved you became nothing but dolls whom you thought are manipulated to hurt you too. That is why it became your instinct to hurt than be the one hurt....once again.
I knew.
because I was the same.
I was the same hurt human being. I possessed all memories that carries all darkest deeds I've done to satisfy my once hurt self; all in one chest and buried deep in my mind and heart but was never burned.
I was once the kid who got hurt unfairly, the one who decided to hurt the others; even the innocent just so I won't return to the same place again.
I was the same complete person not until those merciless bored people broke it to pieces and left me just then and there. In the same place where I cried of agony and anger that no one understood.
All they ever knew was my vengeance and bitterness at heart but never my pain and the reason for the things that I've done.
So as I catch every blow, all bruises, and bleeding strikes of the knife,
I receive all pain, all sorrows, all forms of hurting that you did and then kiss you as tears go rushing down my face.
I understood you, kid, and it's okay
I am hurt but I'll be fine
I know you never wanted to hurt me like that
I knew your heart before this world teared it apart
I knew your goodness, I knew your ability to control
Hurt me now, and cry tears no more.
You will never be hurt again.
02-02-24
Writer's note:
You will never be hurt again.
