Toxic Mentality~ {TRANS HUNTER AU}

Chapter 31: Nightmares

dw the chapter name isnt as menacing as it sounds, no angst :3

TW: BRIEF MENTION OF ABUSE
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Hunter's POV:

I jolted up into a sitting position, finding myself on my makeshift bed on the floor, blanket messily tossed to the side. Flapjack was standing in front of me, chirping about how I had just launched him across the room, but he stopped when he saw the look on my face. "Cheep?" [You okay?] He chirped, hopping closer to me. I was breathing too fast and too shallow to speak, so I started to nod, before figuring it was for the better to not keep things from him, and shaking my head timidly. I lifted up my shirt to check where Belos had impaled me, but there was nothing there. No blood, or green goop, not even a scar or scratch. I shuddered at the thought of the pain, and how real it all felt. Doing the breathing exercises Gus taught me, I finally calmed down and tossed on my binder so I could go upstairs to greet everyone. When I left the basement, though, I was met with emptiness. No one was there.

Shit. I thought, panic starting to set in once again. I turned around to begin searching the house for anyone still here, but ran head first into Luz. I jumped back, while Luz rubbed her head. "Ow." She said, looking up at me. "Oh- Sorry, Luz. I thought no one was home." I now felt kinda embarrassed that I started to get so freaked out, that my ears got red and angled themselves downwards. "You okay, Hunter? It looks like you just woke up from the worst nightmare of your life." She leaned towards me, knowing I usually don't want to be touched by or too close to someone, but showing that she still cared about me. I looked off to the side. "Is it that obvious?" She only slightly nodded, eyebrows knitted together with threads of concern. I sighed and motioned her over to the couch where we could sit down and talk. I then told her everything. Every last detail I could remember of that dream, most of which burned into my head so I could never forget. By the end I was crying, but I didn't mind letting it out since we were so close. "Can I hug you?" Luz asked, to which I nodded. When I felt her arms wrap around me in a loving embrace, tears poured down my cheeks. I pulled her in as tight as I possibly could, and just stayed there, for quite a while. "Mama and the others have gone to run a bunch of errands. Y'know, getting groceries, clothes, school supplies, that kinda stuff. I told them to let you sleep and that I'd stay here for you when you woke up, 'guess it's a good thing I did." the brunette explained, still crushing me in the most loving touch I've probably ever felt.

"Thank you, Luz." my voice cracked, "Aside from Darius and Flapjack, you're the closest thing I've ever had to real family. But-" I sniffled in an attempt to reel my emotions back in, which failed miserably. "Darius, Raine, and Steve were the only three people actually nice to me in the Emperor's Coven, and Flap's my palisman, so of course I'd be close to them, but you-" I let out a sob, "you didn't have a reason to be nice to me, in fact, if I were you, I would have hated me, but- but you still forgave me for all the terrible things I did.." My voice wavered at the end, more high pitched and drawn out.

"As soon as I saw your face, how young you were, I knew you couldn't really be a bad person. I knew that man had done something truly awful to you." Luz soothed, rubbing a thumb gently over my back. Relaxing to the touch, I closed my eyes and rested there momentarily, loving the felling of being hugged in a truthfully loving way, not just to be manipulative. I sighed when Luz pulled back, smiling at me, and returned the smile. "Sorry." I said quietly, wiping my tears away. "Don't be." The brunette replied simply with an accompanying hair ruffle. I chuckled softly, straightening out my hair again. Oh shit, this is kinda the perfect moment to tell her I'm trans- I realized, chest tightening. It really was perfect the more I thought about it, we were alone, and I had already told her all about that dream, so might as well say it now or I never will. I made eye contact with Luz for a few seconds, only to break it again when I started to feel nervous. She cocked her head at me, worry overtaking her face as her brows furrowed softly. "Uhm-" I took in a deep breath, "Please don't like, hate me or something since I didn't tell you sooner- actually, try not to hate me because of it is really what I'm trying to say I guess, but I don't-"

"Hunter." Luz interrupted my nervous ranting, which I was thankful she had done, because I would have worried myself into the ground if she hadn't.

"Sorry, sorry," I continued, "I'm trans. The books and scrolls always said that every grimwalker has it's flaw, and I was lucky- I looked the most like him, like Caleb, I mean. But in return, I was made a girl." I visibly cringed at hearing my own voice say I'm a girl, my face scrunching uncomfortably. "Oh shit." Luz made a face. "Sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud. What I mean is, thank you, for telling me." She hugged me again, this time shorter in duration. "I would never hate you for being trans, it's not like you can control it!" Luz laughed like that was the most insane thing she'd ever heard, which made me smile. "Am I allowed to ask questions?.." I nodded, knowing she was bound to ask anyway.

"Does anyone else know?"

I nodded quicker than I would have liked to. "Willow does."

"Woww, you told her before me?" Luz joked, but quickly moved on to her next question. "Does Belos know? Well, he must, right? Does that mean he supports you? That's... unexpected."

"Yeah, he knows." I sighed, "But I'm pretty positive that he only respects me because Caleb was a boy, and he doesn't want to call someone that so closely resembles his brother a girl."

We talked for a while longer until the others got home, then I helped them put away groceries. Afterwards, I went back down. into the basement, took off my binder, and snuggled under a blanket so I could get some real sleep.

1120 words

omg i just barely finished this chapter in time- i keep getting behind on my writing schedule bc school is so stressful 😭

thankfully im going on winter break so imma have more writing time and less grades stress :D