LOVE ; dazai & chuuya x reader [✓]

7 : loves

haah? what i think about y/n? what's the point of that question?

...fine. guess i can entertain you for now.

y/n was everything to me. so when i had to see her go, it pained me. hey, don't look at me like that! i know i told her to go and live her life and everything, but honestly, i wanted her to stay by my side.

maybe i should have been more honest about my feelings with her- but she wouldn't remember me. because of that stupid ability. luckily dazai didn't grab onto her when she got shot, or y/n's ability wouldn't have activated...and she wouldn't have survived.

in the mafia, she was number one- even more precious than dazai. i mean! dazai sucks. who would like that dude, anyway? definitely not me. huh? I'm dating him? um. anyway.

i discovered her ability after we went drinking. we were both intoxicated, and y/n accidentally got hit by a car. that idiot. anyway, the driver did a hit-and-run, leaving me with y/n. at that point of time, we were just young recruits, and I didn't know what to do.

now, don't judge me for what comes next, olay?

i was drunk, amd distraught, so i made the decision to just pick her body up and bring her back to my apartment.

don't say anything please.

i cleaned her up somewhat, placed her on my couch, and just cried my eyes out. i swear it was the alcohol talking.

so imagine my surprise when she woke up again, two days later, fresh and new- but with no memories. of course, i reintroduced myself again, and guided her back into the mafia. i covered for her, saying that i forced her to assist me in a mission the past two days without permission, which explained her radio silence. i got punished in the end, but that's okay. y/n was safe, and that's all that matters.

I don't know how my lie got through the boss, or anyone, but they probably saw me as some immature kid, and believed me. tsk. rascals.

i thought that dazai would notice some flaw in my reasoning, but he either didn't mention it, or somehow didn't see through me. it was probably the former. (he just believed in me. that's why he didn't question it. and he was just glad y/n was back.)

ugh, i feel so sappy that it's weird now. gross.

i lost all contact with y/n after that day i told her to leave, only finding her again after dazai joined the ADA. i didn't want to lose her again, so i placed something on her when we met. she will never leave me, leave us now.

i realised she had it rough on the streets, with how she didn't remember much, and how her memories were jumbled up. I shouldn't have let her go. i should've let her stay in my apartment, taking her under my wing.

but it's alright. what's done is done, and she's safe now. we'll make sure of that.

I don't know when i was in love...but dazai, that stupid guy revealed that we were dating each other! how would she dare to reciprocate this love now if we even had a chance, and how would i even confess? what if she thought that i was a cheater, and our friendship gets destroyed?

ugh. these flowers are such a pain.

(a/n: 3 idiots in love, 3 idiots who don't dare to confess, and 3 idiots who are going to die due to this. i hope hanahaki can be done like this? I don't really have much experience 😔😔 I'm also so sorry if they're ooc)

DON'T: republish, copy, translate my work.
IF: my work is on any other platform / you see another book like this, please inform me.