17) FIRST TIME

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Brooklyn

It wasn't long after the most annoying game of truth or dare did me and theo call it a night. They moved the lowkey party inside once the wind got to strong and when they did that me and theo ran off. Theodore has a very low social battery and when that runs out you just don't want to talk to him because he just turns into a grumpy slouchy mess who hides himself under a black hoodie.

I took a quick shower pulling my wavy hair into a loose bun a changing my outfit into my pjs.

I'm laying on my side my hip kinda popped out staring at the closed bathroom door where theo was currently showering and changing

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I'm laying on my side my hip kinda popped out staring at the closed bathroom door where theo was currently showering and changing. I'm nervous cause this is the first time me and theo would be sharing a bed together weve sat on my bed together and watched a movie but we always had space between us but now we were going undercover and sleeping in the same bed together especially now as a couple.

The bathroom door opens and theo walks out in only basketball shorts and socks showing off all of his tattoos and my breathe shudders.
The bed dips as he slide in next to me. Laying down on his back and putting an arm around me pulling me closer. I cross my arm over his chest and my legs over his hips.

"you good." he looks down at me and I look up at him smiling and nodding. I lay my head on his chest looking up at the mirror on the ceiling. Running my hands comfortably up and down his stomach I look in the mirror. "do you think there is a mirror on all the ceilings or just this one"

He looks up and chuckles. "fuckin'ell" I laugh at the few phrases he says that enhances his accent. "what if this is her parents room." i gasp tapping his chest a little. "don't think like that." i giggle. The door knocks and we both look at the door as it cracks open and nikis head pops through seeing that we were decent and fully opening the door. "sorry but um brooke do you have a tampon." i get off theo using him to push myself. "yeah of course."

"im so mad that the one time me and broady have some peace to get it in without a serority boy walking in I start my period." i dig into my bag finding a random tampon. I hand it her and she smiles. "thank you so much I didn't want to have to go ask serenity for one." she rolls her eyes. "i get it... Goodnight." she smiles. "goodnight." she blows me a kiss and waving at theo before leaving.

I jump back on the bed going back to my old position this Time running my foot up and down his legs. "you gonna kiss me or do I have to ask." he chuckles kissing me slowly. I slip my tongue in first being rewarded with his as the speed of the kiss quickens nothing hit the sounds of the faint musics and the sound of our lips when the partially separate.

I move my hand down his body and into his shorts... Fuck he's commando. I run my hand over his semi gripping it and rubbing my thumb over his tip and he groans. He pulls away from me. "w-whats wrong." he's sighs shaking his head.

There is something on his mind but he doesn't want to say anything. Hes doesn't really ask questions no matter how much he wants to know. He not use to asking for anything in general he'd rather suffer in silence."what is it teddy." i take my hand out of his shorts.

He sighs again pinching the bridge of his nose he really really doesn't want to ask his question. "why-why won't you let me touch you or please you? You love to give me head or wank me off or send me pics of your tits when we're not together at night so I can do it myself but everytime I even trying to touch past your waist band you shove me away and I get it if your not ready but I just wanted to know if there was a reason." i felt bad... He didn't know anything ... And it was clear that he was bothered by it seeing as he was asking me this and he doesn't ask for shit and I feel like he thinks he's the reason I won't let him touch me and I feel bad.

I don't want to talk about it but him just asking me this shows how much it's bothering him. I release a shaky breath.

"you know I'm from new york right." he nods "well where I lived wasn't the best area there was a high crime rate and me and mother were the only few fully white people in my area so we always seemed weak and an easy target. And me going to a private school when there was a public across the street from my home didn't help. So when I was still with James he's start trouble with the people in my area because he though he was better then them. So I got the punishment for his actions once he ran off. It was never anything a few smacks and a few warning. But one time James did something really fucked at the basketball court till this day I don't know what he did cause I wasn't there. But when I was walking home at night I got pulled up on by a group of boys and one of them had a gun thet forced me in their car and drove to an alleyway where all of them one by one... They assaulted me...sexually. And ever since I left James and new york I haven't been touched so I'm very hesitant."

I didn't want to tell him about after because I wasn't ready for that."im so sorry baby really and truelly sorry your the most sweetest loving girl I ever known and I want you to know I would never ever force myself on you ever but I also want you to know I would never fucking do that to you I'd anyone for that matter." my eyes water.

"I know baby I know." my voice cracks and he wipes my tears away. "have you tried to have sex since." i shake my head. "why is it cause you traumatised or because your scared of how you react to it." going back to drawing circles around his chest I try not to look at him.

"I've tried ways to move past it except it and leave it in the past I didn't get to see their faces so I wasn't able to report them so I went to therapy to help me cope and it did obviously Ive had bad moments and dreams but I'm moving past it so it's the fact that if I have consentual sex I'm scared it will all flood back."

"I've never been through what you have but I understand ok... And I'll always want you Brooke when you ready I'll be here you can take your time because I would never force you to do what you don't want to do." I look at him sharing a small smile as a tear spills out my eyes.

He wipes it his palm on my cheek. Moving forward he kisses me softly and slowly before pulling away. He looks me in the eyes and I stare into his sage green eyes seeing how much they've changed from when I met him to now. He seems more alive.

I kiss him again once we pull away and for the first time ever... I deepen the kiss... I make the first move.

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