Escape || Cole Walter

Thirty Two

Cole Walter

Elle is the most confusing girl Ive ever met.

There is this curious force about her that I dont think anyone else understands. Of course they do understand, because everyone is obsessed with her. She pulls people in. She fills them with light and joy. But at the same time, I know she uses her force more when shes with me.

She is scared of showing her true self to anyone. Yet, I know Ive seen it. I saw it when she almost drown on one of her first days here, I saw it when she was on the dance floor in Monteys with me on her birthday, I saw it later on in the bathroom when she was crying on her birthday, I saw it when she was laying on the ground in the middle of the road.

Elle is one of the most alive people Ive ever met. But she likes to pretend she is dead.

There is so much depth to Elle and she is only seventeen. Some people dont accomplish that until they are, like fifty, and some people dont ever accomplish depth.

I hope with everything in me that I can learn to be something greater than my circumstance. Like her. I know she does it without even noticing. We could all learn from her.

But at the same time, I hope she learns from everyone else surrounding her. I hope she is able to realize how much the world values her and everything she has to say. That all of her emotions and things hidden deep inside her mind are completely valid.

I wish I could scream that to her. I would do anything to stop her from feeling that pain.

I hope she realizes the beauty she has. The way she is able to change a room. Her dark, soft, long hair flows perfectly. Her smile has the ability to save lives completely unintentionally.

Her and I have talked about the purple glow that surrounds her, but that seems like ages ago. It was when we were grounded and stuck in the house with the power off. That was when she opened up to me about her sister.

Elle has got this purple glow she is engulfed in. It is all I see when I look at her. It makes her so approachable and warm. It feels so comforting and dangerous at the same time. Almost like she has been in my life the whole time, but yet, Im finding out more about her every day.

I dont think there would ever be a time when Im exhausted of her. Her beauty, her wittiness, her constant sureness all pull me more and more into her.

Every day it gets harder and harder to stay away, even though I know it's my fault we cant be together.

But I dont think she would want me in the end. Im set in my ways. I am almost completely broken. I've always been broken. The only thing that fixed that was football, and even that has been taken from me.

The only thing that had made me feel even a little better since then, has been her. It's why when I first met her, I was entranced in her. When she almost drown, I thought she was stunning instead of stupid.

Her laugh, her eyes, her beautiful cheeky grin. The way her eyes twinkle and her cheeks get all scrunched up when she laughs. That all made me feel better.

Elle fills people with life. She puts everything she has into relationships, even when she has nothing. There's never been someone as pure as her, I'm convinced of it.

But I know I can't depend my happiness on a person. So I've been waiting, trying to figure out what the hell Im going to do with all of these broken pieces of me. Elle is already hurt enough. My New York deserves the world. She deserves universes, and I could argue that I am just a rock in this vast universe. A broken, crumbled up rock.

I don't think I'll ever have Elle. And I don't think I'll ever be able to fulfill my broken past. So why not give into the broken future?