Four

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••welcome to colorado••




Following Cole all the way out of the house, I almost got hit by a ball two times, ran into once, and asked for a favor twice. I'm finding it good that they are so chaotic because it definitely keeps my mind off of things. In any other environment or circumstance, I would be dying from being overwhelmed.

Across from the house, there is a large wooden fence that I hadn't even noticed before. And this time, the horses are out and waiting. I don't even think I noticed they had horses until now. They are beautiful.

Cole stops at the fence, greeting the horse who waits for him. I watch as he maneuvers up the fence with ease to sit on it with admiration. It seems like he is so at peace doing something so simple like this. I've barely known the boy for two days, but I can tell there is something deep down he is struggling with.

"Hey can you toss me that?" He asks with a soft voice, looking down at me. Looking down there is a bucket with a large scoop. "A half scoop is good."

Following his directions, I hand it to him watching as he continues to feed the horse with gentleness. He talks him through it and makes the food clang against each other so the horse knows it's there.

"You ride?" He asks me.

Looking up from the horse where he pets it, I shake my head. "I mean, I've always wanted to try, but I was never given the opportunity." He nods, his eyes watching mine closely. "Horses are stunning though. They're big, and unpredictable. When I was younger I probably wouldn't have been fond of the unpredictability."

"Only if you don't know how to treat them. The unpredictability comes from between you." Cole looks back down, watching as he eats.

"You have a good bond with him." I say, admiring the two of them without even noticing I am.

"I've been riding all my life. This is Custard." He says proudly with a big grin. "He's a beauty."

"Um, Custard?" I ask him, grabbing onto the fence for support.

Rolling his eyes, his eyes move from the horse and to me. "I named him when I was like six okay?" Giggling, I nod. "Even though you're clearly judging me," he also laughs, handing me the scoop. "You wanna feed him?"

Nodding, I grab the scoop with confidence, and hold it up at the exact height Cole was. Custard lets out a calm neigh, but I try not to let it get to me.

"It's okay, it's okay," He says to the horse. "You're okay." He then says, looking at me clearly.

My eyes fly up to him as Custard begins to eat from the scoop. Climbing down, he gets even closer to me. "See?" He asks as custard eats attentively.

"You're beautiful Custard." I whisper, petting him closely.

Cole's eyes burn into the side of my face, but I never return the glance until he says, "Let me take you out for a ride."

Staring at him with awe, I smile sharply. "No way." I respond in disbelief.

"Yeah, I promise you'll like it."

"I don't doubt I will," I let go of the scoop back into the bucket.

"So let's go." He says again with the same grin.

"You trust me."

"Of course." He responds softly.

All of the sudden, there is a random sound of someone clearly their voice. Both Cole and I turn to the side quickly to see Alex standing there with a sour face. "Hi Alex!" I say trying to be nice.

"What's up?" Cole asks.

"Erin's here." Alex responds sharply.

Cole takes a deep breath, his face dropping. "Okay, that's my cue. See you later New York." He looks back into my eyes one last time before turning and heading towards the gravel again.

"He show you the horses."

"Just this one." I say with an obvious tone.

"Custards a beaut." I nod in agreement. "But Murphy is my favorite, wanna see?"

Nodding again, I smile as I follow him towards the small stable. "He's been with us since he was born. He's old but he's really special."

"You all ride horses?"

"All of us kids?" Nodding again, he smiles. "Yeah, some better than others. You'll have to learn in you're gonna be a real Walter." My amused face drops quickly and I can feel my eyebrows tighten together.

"What?" I ask him in a whisper.

"I mean like- since you're-"

"Since my family is dead?" I ask him, shaking my head and taking a step back. "I'm a Howard."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't." I say, without telling him it's okay. It isn't okay, and I won't let him think it is. I will respect the Walter's, they will probably become like family, but I won't be one. "I'm gonna head inside."

He nods, understanding my sudden flustered mood. "Hey, tomorrow will be easier." I turn back around and smile.

"I will tell Jackie that. She needs it more than I do." She was the one who got the snake on her. She's the one who can really feel emotions. "Thank you Alex."

He smiles at me and waves.

••••

As Jackie and I finally lay down for bed after this exhausting day, a knock comes to the door. "Nose goes!" Jackie yells from her bed.

"You're kidding." I say, rolling my eyes.

"You're closer." Groaning, I get up.

The minute I open the door, I regret it. "I got a box." Cole says.

"Thanks pal." I say sarcastically, grabbing the box from him and slamming the door in his face.

"Maybe you shouldn't have got up, you could've nose goes too!" He yells through the door, making Jackie and I both laugh from his eavesdropping.

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