Let Me Adore You. (Cressi/Lionaldo) (Cristiano Ronaldo/Lionel Messi)

16.

*****

Leo did the one thing he swore he'd never do again... He pushed him away. Well not entirely, but he did find himself becoming distant. Everything since those blissful days they'd spent together during the World Cup, had been a blur. Leo blamed his schedule for being busy most of the time, for not messaging Cristiano back, or for being off of social media for extended periods of time.

Antonella knew though, she knew the real reason... And the disappointment was eating Leo alive, filling him with a guilt that wouldn't go away. He stared out at the ocean, sitting on his little beach chair, feet tucked under him. Antonella next to him, looking at him with mild amusement.

"Did you see Cristiano's insta story?"

Leo flinched and looked away, even though he was hiding behind his sunglasses, he knew she would see his very obvious reaction. She rolled her eyes and laughed, he sighed heavily and took a sip of his water.

"I've been busy-"

"We've been sitting here outside for the past hour, you haven't reached for your phone once."

"Well, maybe I don't want to be on my phone as often? Cut back on screen time?" He snapped, the air between them filled with awkward silence. He frowned and put his water bottle down, she looked at him with an almost sorrowful look, like she felt bad for him. Leo looked at her through the dark lens of his sunglasses. "I don't know what to do okay?"

"About?" She asked, waiting. He frowned more, looking down at his shorts, absentmindedly picking at a loose string.

"I told you already..."

They both sat in silence, she slowly nodded and he looked away again. Out at the waves lapping on the shore, an almost peaceful atmosphere here, away from the busy streets of Paris and Barcelona. She reached over and grabbed his hand, stroking her thumb along the back of his hand. It was a calming gesture, one that he appreciated very much.

"You really don't think you're ready? It's been years Leo, and it was bound to happen."

Leo looked at her, his own hand squeezing hers, "It was love... I love him Anto..."

She nods, smiling at him reassuringly.

"You do."

They both looked back out at the ocean, Leo sliding further down onto his beach chair, pulling his hand back onto his lap.

*****

He stared down at his phone, his palms sweating and he found himself pacing back and forth. His socked feet sliding across the wooden floor of his room, Cristiano's name in big bold letters staring back at him. His finger hovered over the call button, it was just a small click away. A single tap. His heart was racing, and he closed his eyes. Preparing himself briefly before finally just tapping the screen, putting the phone to his ear as it rang.

"Hello?" Cristiano sounded confused as he answered, and Leo frowned.. As if he didn't expect Leo to call.

"Hi.." Leo spoke softly, taking deep breaths to calm down. Cristiano took a little time to speak than usual, and Leo noticed. Guilt still bubbling away in his gut. "How are you?"

"I'm alright.. How are you?" He asked, and Leo felt more nervous, trying to speak normally.

"I... Look, I'm sorry." He shook his head as he spoke, unable to hold it in any longer. His hands still shaking. "I miss you."

He could hear Cristiano sigh on the other side, and it broke his heart more.

"I miss you too." Cris sounded upset as well, "I really missed you... This whole time."

"I... I've been treating you terribly.. haven't I?" Leo whispered, looking down at his feet. He could hear the other end of the line, Cris was taking a lot longer to reply than usual.

"Why did you pull away? Was I too much? Was it too fast?" He asked all questions, one after another and Leo frowned. He was already quite sensitive and this just kicked it up a few notches, the guilt inside him tearing him apart. He frowned and felt tears spring into his eyes. Cristiano wanted answers, and he deserved them... after all it'd been months since Leo even replied to one of Cristiano's posts.

"I got scared." Leo's own voice sounded choked out, he wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, but I.. I didn't know what to do, or how to feel-"

"You could've told me." Cristiano interrupted and that only made Leo start to cry.

"I know, I know I should've. You did nothing wrong Cris, it was all me... I pushed you away because that's what I do, that's how I cope." He rambled into the phone, the floodgates opened, he had a hand over his eyes as he cried. "I run away the moment it all becomes too real. I run away first so you can't, so you won't do it to me."

"Leo-"

"Eventually you'll get sick of me and you'll leave me, so I did it first. I did it before you-"

"Leo-"

"I'm just so scared. What if I'm doing this all wrong? What if I get too clingy? What if someday you look at me and realize that you deserve better and-"

"Leo! I love you!" Cristiano finally had to shout just to interrupt him, and Leo didn't take it lightly. He just sobbed harder, holding the phone to his ear and crying. Leo felt like his world was crumbling down, his heart racing and he knew Cris was frustrated with him, he hadn't even bothered hearing what Cris had said, the declaration of love flying right over his head.

"Cris-"

"Listen to me." Cristiano's voice sounded firm and Leo went quiet, tears still sliding down his cheeks. "You've had a space in my heart since the moment I seen you. And over the years, that space has only grown. Those days we'd spent together at the World Cup, were the best days of my life. I knew the moment you showed up to that dinner, that I wanted to see you like that every day. I wanted to take you out for dinners and just show the world that you're mine."

Leo whimpered, his heart aching as he heard Cristiano's confessions. Seeing them on posts was so underwhelming compared to hearing him say it directly to him.

"Waking up next to you, having you so close. Close enough to touch, to breathe in.. to kiss. I loved it. Every single moment I spent with you, I loved it. Not because I was just basking in the moment, in the affection, but because I was with you." He sounded so sincere as he spoke. Leo couldn't handle it, he felt so guilty, he'd pushed this away. All this love, all of Cristiano's advances.

"I'm sorry..." Leo whispered, barely getting the words out.

"You mean so much to me Leo, I can promise you now that I won't get sick of you. I won't get bored of being with you, I won't abandon you." Cris sounded so reassuring, his voice soothing all of Leo's fears. "So don't push me away again, okay?"

Leo wiped his eyes again and nodded, sitting defeated on his bed. Somehow even more guilty and embarrassed now than before.

"Okay."

*****

I promised an update, didn't say it was gonna be a happy one. 💀