You Decorated My Universe (Stevencest)

FIFTEEN

My chest was pulsating and my face is getting hotter all of a sudden.

What is this? Is this another emotion? I asked myself in my head.

Why am I getting flustered so suddenly again? It's a sensation I wanted to feel, yet the ingrained belief to set aside my feelings persists in my mind. I should disregard whatever this is and concentrate solely on caring for and protecting Steven. Nevertheless, there's always that lingering part of me contemplating my purpose and incessantly questioning whether I am merely a gem fulfilling my objective, comprehending his emotions without truly empathizing with Steven or making an effort to reciprocate it.

Steven's voice echoed to a maximum volume, calling my name. I snapped back to reality. He looked at me with wonder and curiosity in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Steven furrowed his brows along with a tilted head.

I shook my head yes.

"Seems like you're having deep thoughts," said Steven. "What are you thinking about?"

I found it challenging to express the sudden emotions I was experiencing toward him. I had to divert the conversation to keep him from knowing. That led me to recall my encounter with Connie at Staples earlier and how she initiated our talk about what had happened to them. Initially, I hadn't considered mentioning it to Steven, thinking it's best to leave her out of the discussion. However, he started looking at me with genuine curiosity about what was on my mind. I had no option but to let him in on the event that had happened.

I sighed.

"I saw Connie," I turned to face him with a pressing countenance. "She was trying to apologize about what happened."

"What'd you say?"

"I told her to stay away from you as possible. I don't want her to cause anymore trouble that might aggravate your condition."

He looked away, trying to avert the topic. He looked at the gift she gave hanged on the wall. "I don't wanna think of what happened either. The more it circles in my mind, the more it bothers me, which is the very least I should pay attention to. All of these depressed feelings got me so fucked up that it makes my belly button's condition worse than the last." Steven turned to look at me with content as he scooched over. "But, thanks to you. You never gave up on me even at times I am also the problem for being so stubborn and putting myself down. I appreciate it, Pink. Unlike her, she made me look like a fool as if I'm not her partner at the time. I tried everything but all I ever gotten was that."

"You don't have to think about that, Steven. What you two had is gone now. It would be much better if you can just become indifferent and move on from that situation." I held his hand and gazed at him with sweetness. I rubbed my thumb against his knuckles. "And that I care about you so much that's why I'm very protective of you. My existence is pointless if it weren't for you. My objective to make you happy and be there for you whenever you need me is the most important thing I need to achieve.

"You are too important for me, Steven, you know that. It makes me happy seeing you happy because me being a vital part of you; it's I'm just looking myself in the mirror as your emotions reflect onto mine. And it would totally elevate it you have grown your dream business, have a bigger house you've always wanted, get really fucking rich—"

Steven chuckled.

I continued, "and meeting plenty of people to socialize, to befriend with, and especially the girls you should get to know of. You know what they say—"

"I'm sorry, Pink, I'mma stop you right there." He interrupted me, distancing himself slightly, and his expression shifted from sweetness to seriousness. I wondered if there was anything in my words that might have provoked him.