THE GIRL IN THE BOOKSTORE

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎

"How about Ms. Kizzia, do you like her?" Tila seryoso ang mukha ni Astrid ngayon. I dunno how to answer her question because even though me ay nagugulohan na rin.

"It's okay if you don't want to answer it, Kensley. I know what's the answer." I gave her a questioning look.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused because me, myself, I don't know the answer, but she knows? Unbelievable.

"I know that you like her, but you don't want to admit it to yourself, and you keep denying it, right?" Natahimik ako sa naging sagot niya. Dahil, yes, tama siya. I already like Ms. Kizzia, but I keep denying it to myself.

"See, silence means yes, and what's the reason for not admitting it to yourself? There's no wrong in liking someone; just guard your heart for the consequences of liking someone." Mahaba niyang litanya, but I kept silent and focused my attention on the pen I was playing with on my finger.

"Enough na 'yan, baka may makarinig." Awat sa kanya ni Mitch. And I saw Astrid in my peripheral vision, she just shrugged her shoulder.

____

Nagpaalam akong hindi sasabay sa kanilang tatlo mag-lunch ngayon dahil nag-message sa akin si Ate Thalia, na sabay kaming mag-lunch sa office niya

Ang malas ko talaga today, madadaan ko pa yung office ni Ms. Kizzia patungo sa office ng pinsan ko.

Nang nalampasan ko na ang office ni Ms. Kizzia, biglang bumukas ang pinto, at hindi pa nga ako nakakalingon, may biglang humila sakin patungo sa office niya.

"What the heck?!" I accidentally raised my voice to her, and I saw sadness in her eyes, pero hindi niya pa rin binitiwan ang kamay ko. Nagpahila na lang ako sa kanya papasok ng office niya.

Ng makapasok na kami sa opisina niya, she let go of my hand and locked the door. I crossed my arms and looked at her without any emotion in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Akma niyang hahawakan ang kamay ko, pero umatras ako.

"Don't." Napapikit na lang ako nang bigla niyang akong yakapin, but I never hugged her back. Ilang segundo rin ang tinagal ng pagyakap niya sa akin bago siya bumitaw.

"I'm sorry, I just missed you." Paumanhin niya, and I saw she's suppressing her tears not to fall, but she's not successful kaya iniba niya ang direction ng tinitingnan niya.

"After you ignored me for almost a week, you're here now saying you missed me?" I asked her sarcastically. Hindi siya makatingin sa akin, and hindi rin nakaligtas sa mata ko ang mga luha niyang mabilis umaagos sa pisnge niya.

Nakakaramdam ako ng kirot because of what I saw right now, but hindi ako puwedeng magpadala sa emotion ko dahil ako rin yung talo sa huli. I'm really sure that the lady I met in a bookstore is her mother, and based on what the lady said, her daughter is going to have a fiancé soon. I can feel it that it's Ms. Kizzia and Zach.

Hindi ko na namalayan na may mga luha na rin palang dumadaloy sa pisnge ko, but I wiped it right away before she saw it. Nang hindi ko na makayanan mag-stay dito sa office niya, napagdesisyonan kong umalis na lang.

Iikotin ko pa lang sana ang doorknob to unlock the door, ng hilahin niya ulit ako paharap sa kanya. She hugged me again, and doon ko na narinig ang kanyang paghikbi.

"I'm really sorry, please don't leave me." She pleaded with a crack voice dahil sa pag-iyak niya. I didn't respond to her and just stayed quiet ng maramdaman ko na ang mahigpit niyang pagyakap sa akin.

May problem ba sila nung manliligaw niya kaya siya umiiyak, or dahil talaga sa akin? But I don't want to assume things, baka masaktan lang ako for being delusional.