Trespassing (Daryl Dixon x OC)

Rocket Man

"You really wanna fucking know?" he asked bitterly. "I cheated. I cheated when she fucking needed me."

I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows in shock. The action didn't seem like anything new from a man like Negan but his confession surprised me. What shook me even more was that I saw tears in his eyes.

"Not once. It was never fucking once. And she fucking knew. She died thinking I was the biggest asshole she could have ever fucking known. And yet, she fucking loved me anyway."

Once a tear slid down his cheek, Negan turned around to face the opposite wall. I couldn't believe the amount of anger he held inside over this. He blames himself for so much and projects it as arrogance. I felt bad for the man.

"You know, doll, when we were in that church and you told me you hated me, all I saw was her. She looked just like that when she told me her diagnosis. Tears, and aggravation, and everything."

He sounded so defeated. He sniffled here and there, allowing himself to continue crying. I was shocked to see him so openly vulnerable.

"You remind me so much of her," he admitted with a sad chuckle. "You got her humor, her take-no-shit attitude. Hell, you even look a hell of a lot like her."

That's why he asked me to be his wife. He just wanted Lucille. He wanted to make everything right.

"That's why I couldn't fucking kill you, doll."

Both Negan and I remained silent for a moment. I never thought I'd ever see Negan cry like this. I knew there was more to him than just a cynical sadist. Hell, he even told me that I was the one who broke him. He really wasn't fucking around.

I unlocked his cell door. Negan kept his back to me, not wanting to face someone who reminded him of who he betrayed. A lot of things about Negan now made sense.

I wrapped my arms around his torso gently, laying the side of my face on his back. Never did I think I'd see the day that I intentionally hug Negan. I don't know the last time he's ever been shown real affection.

"What are you fucking doing, doll?" he asked, voice faint and tired.

"What any good friend would do," I replied.

I released my hold on him as I felt him shift. I took a small step back as Negan turned to finally face me. His cheeks were tear-stained and eyes a slight pink. With a frown, I went up on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. To my surprise, Negan hugged me back this time.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," I muttered beside him.

"I probably deserved it," he said. "I was an asshole."

"Did you love her?"

Negan remained quiet for a moment. He fought with himself a lot over this but clearly hasn't for a while. I reopened a dam that he wasn't ready for. Maybe it was for the best that I caught him off guard.

"I really fucking did," he finally answered, giving a small squeeze to my waist.

I gently rubbed Negan's back in an attempt to bring him comfort. He seemed to relax into my hold and it was rather relieving. He put himself in a vulnerable position and I did the same by coming in his cell like this. That's a lot of trust we're both instilling on each other.

Once we pulled away, Negan rubbed a hand down his face, wiping away the last of his tears. I honestly felt honored to be probably the only person to see Negan in this state. That's a big step for him. It also let him know he has a friend.

"I'm not leaving, but I'm just gonna go back to my seat, okay?" I told him. "I'd stay here but I don't want anyone barging in and questioning me any more than they are. The people in this town are nosey as fuck."