Kiss me Or Kill me

Chapter 5 :

She slept with wolves without a fear, for the wolves knew a lion was among them.
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Ivan winced in pain as I applied the ice pack to his swollen ankle. The throbbing ache was intense, and had I not intervened and asked about his peculiar chicken-like walk, he might have continued fishing despite his injury.

Yesterday at the festival, he danced with such enthusiasm that he ended up hurting his ankle. But this wasn't unusual. Whenever there was a celebration, he would get so excited, trying his best to fit in and socialize with the other Emeraldites, while I found myself exhausted with just a few dances.

I sat at a distance, watching them dance all night. We didn't return until 6 o'clock in the morning. Well, not literally, because in Emerald, there is no morning.

The gown Rhea made for me was truly beautiful, but it was heavy and made it difficult to move around during the festivities. I wasn't used to wearing such fancy dresses; loose pants, shirts, or tunics were more my style.

Moreover, I struggled to hide my shoulder, making sure no one caught sight of my scars. Throughout the night, I kept a shawl on, even though it was very hot, which made me sweat heavily.

"Ow, be gentler, Eliana." he complained as I realized I had pressed the ice pack too hard.

"I am being gentle." I sighed, removing the ice pack.

"Well, it certainly doesn't feel that way." he pouted.

"That's because I'm frustrated with you," I admitted. "Why do you keep getting hurt like this? You don't need to dance so much. Even if you danced just once, it would still be considered celebrating. Why do you push yourself to blend in with them? We'll never truly belong, no matter what."

Applying the ice pack again, I accidentally elicited a whimper from him.

"It's because I want to enjoy myself," he answered. "I know we'll never truly be like them, but for a brief moment, it's thrilling to live as they do, unashamed of who I am, forgetting about everything else and immersing myself in the festivities. Let me ask you something: You used to love these things more than me before, eagerly getting ready for the festival. Why have you stopped trying to fit in?"

"Because, no matter how hard I try, I'll never be accepted." I confessed, avoiding his gaze. "I used to believe that if I was kind, gentle, and embraced their traditions and culture, they'd eventually accept me. But after more than ten years here, it's clear how much those people despise us. I've given up on things that doesn't make a difference."

Breaking pieces of myself to fit in, never helped me belong, only helped me bleed.

"Hmm... I guess you're not entirely wrong." he nodded, examining his injured ankle.

For a moment, silence enveloped us, leaving so much unspoken between us. A weighty burden of words and emotions lingered within me, haunting me for what felt like an eternity. Deep down, I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness, with thoughts and feelings trapped inside my mind and heart.

But I hesitated to burden him with my untamed and unwelcome thoughts, so I kept silent.

"Sorry, did I upset you?" he asked after a prolonged silence.

"No, not at all. Just lost in thought." I replied, mustering a faint smile that barely showed.

"You rode Rhea's horse. Can you describe how it felt?" I swiftly changed the subject.

"Oh, I can't believe I forgot to tell you! It was absolutely enchanting. Imagine this: the gentle breeze tousling your hair, the stars shimmering above, and a mix of exhilaration and a hint of fear that you might tumble off. It's an incredibly thrilling experience." he exclaimed, his excitement shining through his animated gestures.