out of the shade

vignettes of life

As Riki walks into the school courtyard on the slightly overcast Monday morning, he cannot help but feel weird after what Sunghoon told him on the weekend. His mind has been spinning with so many thoughts since Sunghoon's confession. Sunghoon's dad was killed by a vampire and that makes Riki feel sick to his stomach, yet that's not the only thing.

The way Sunghoon was referring to who killed his father so venomously which of course Riki cannot judge since he was talking about his dad's murder— but the way he referred to the vampire as a 'thing', how he spat out the word like it was a mouthful of bile on his tongue made Riki wonder.

If Sunghoon knew he was one of those 'things', would he hate him too? Would he hold resentment against Riki for being a vampire even though obviously Riki knows that he isn't responsible; but vampires always catch a bad reputation. People are scared of them and are shocked when they learn about them.

"Hey Riki!" Sunoo greets him with a bright smile, pulling Riki from his thoughts as he jumps up and giving the youngest a hug before pulling him down to sit down on the grass between him and Sunghoon.

"Hey Ki." The other guys all chorus, giving him soft and warm smiles that make warmth blossom in his chest.

The guys have all been checking on him throughout the weekend after his breakdown at Sunghoon's house, all of them offering to talk more if he needed to or just sending words of comfort and reassurance— especially on Jake and Heeseung's part. The two were like his surrogate dads in a way and it was really sweet.

Sunghoon smiles at Riki before wrapping his arm around the younger boy and pulling him close to let Riki rest against his shoulder.

"Are you feeling alright today, sweetheart? I know the other day was a lot but I'm here for you and so are all the guys. We've got you, you know?" Sunghoon tells him softly, his lips lightly brushing Riki's ear as he speaks, sending small shivers down Riki's spine.

The older boy's words almost instantly make Riki think that maybe he isn't giving Sunghoon enough credit. The senior has been supportive and kind towards him through everything— listening to Riki vent about his past and his insecurities and held him whilst he let out all the hurt he has been through. Riki thinks that they're close enough that Sunghoon and even the guys would accept him anyway. But that leaves him with a question.

Should he tell them?

Should Riki tell the first people that he's trusted in a really long time his biggest secret? All the guys have been so accepting of him and really treated him like a friend; they see him as a friend. Would they still see him as a friend if they knew what Riki really was? His faith in them honestly feels like they would or at least they would try.

But he still doesn't know if he can tell them, not when it's putting him and his family out there along with the rest of the community. Riki thinks that maybe he will build up to it, he just needs time.

"I know Hoonie-hyung," Riki smiles up at Sunghoon as he squeezes the boy's thigh, "I know."

"I've got you too, you know? I think we both shared things we couldn't keep in too long." Riki whispers back to Sunghoon because the other boy's feelings and trauma mattered too. Riki would gladly listen if he needs him to.

"I know Riki." Sunghoon parrots his own words from earlier as he gently squeezes Riki's shoulder, "I know."

𖤓𖤓𖤓𖤓𖤓

Almost two months have passed since Riki started at White Rose Academy and he's not exaggerating when he's saying the past six and a half weeks have genuinely been some of the best in his life. For the first time in a long time, Riki felt comfortable and he was genuinely happy.