Clandestine | 18+

00~Nightmare

Call out my name- The Weekend

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"Marriage on paper for power and not love leads to taking advantage of the other to always have more."

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Waking up felt like Deja Vú. A strong noise, a big bed and  a bright light making it difficult to open my eyes almost made me think that the yesterday's clubbing experience didn't happen, and it was all just a dream.

And a good reminder that it wasn't, came.

I ran towards the bathroom lifting my hair up because I felt like vomiting. I felt the energy raise up my throat but the juices of what I drank weren't coming out. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my stomach felt like it was eating itself inside, my throat felt like it contained all of the poisons in the world but didn't want them to leave.

And I felt them going up my throat as I parted my lips, just wanting this torture to end.

All I drank last night just poured into my toilet. I saw what I just did and I realized that I might have drank a bit more than 20 shots.

My head hurt, but I felt like something had crossed my mind.

And I started searching inside my brain for any event I should attend.

And it came.

The interview was today.

I got a towel and groaned as I cleaned my bottom lip and my jaw. I stared at myself.

Even though I was wasted, I could slightly remember how I was pulled by my dad's bodyguards.

Sighting I left the wet towel on the counter, and left my bathroom. Looking at the clock attached to my wall I saw the time. 5:00 am. I had exactly three hours to get ready.

I fell on my back and the moment my phone touched my hands I got a call.

Arine.

I opened the call.

I tilted my head to watch the window. It was pretty. Wine red roses placed everywhere around my balcony. The ends of my mouth slipped into a soft curve as I listened to Arine's words.

"Hello, are you even there?" Arine's voice echoed through my brain through the memories.

No one will love you.

You deserve no love!

No. One. Likes you!

"What have I done to you!" I screamed trying to slap him.

"Disobey me."

"You. Are. Nothing. To . Me. What the fuck don't you understand?!" I screamed more, breathing harder, heavier as I fell, my back coming in contact with the wall, my hands covering my face as I tried to breathe, as I tried to live.

How could I? How could I live when I got treated like shit? I was strong yes, but I was human like everyone else.

I felt something wet touch my face. Something that I didn't want this monster to see. I didn't want this species, not a human, not an animal, the wilder side of both to see that he had defeated me.

He hadn't. I was getting tired of this. Tired of life. Tired of everything I saw and did, tired of everything that I remembered and tired of everything that I hided. I was  tired, so fucking tired of acting like everything was fine, so tired of applying makeup because this monster three times bigger than me thought he was stronger because I was emotionally weaker.