Satataharitam - Short Stories On Narayana

Neelameghashyama

"Krishna!" she called to the skies. "You've taken my heart and my mind. What do you want me to live with now? Don't you think I need a mind to function in this world? Do me a favour, and bring it back to me right here, and you must be the one to bring it back."

She looked around to see if he'd come. It was irrational and stupid. Did she think he didn't have anything else to do?

Besides, he hadn't stolen that heart to return it to her. He'd stolen it because he'd wanted it. He had stolen it to eventually take her away with him, completely.

You know, the way he did with Rukmini. History repeats itself, they say. Oh it sure would. (She slapped herself mildly for even thinking of her circumstance next to Rukmini's.)

She looked up at the dark clouds in the night sky. Her eyes brightened in an instant.

She saw his face in the clouds. It was as if he was watching her agony from the skies with that smile on his face.

"There you are!" she said. "Now, just descend on Earth and give my heart back to me, will you?"

She felt the coldest drop of water hit her right in the face from the clouds. She looked up reflexively, only to have more water on her face.

Just before she could get frustrated and return indoors, she looked up.

"Oh! Is that you, sending the essence of your soul to the ground?"

"Or are those your tears? Tears of laughing at me after making me fall for you this way?"

Her narrowed eyes softened, her brows furrowed.

"Or are they tears of longing? Do you feel as I feel?"

The rain got heavier and she couldn't resist a smile as the water splashed on her face.

"Or are you playing with me from there, Shyama? Are you splashing the waters of your Ksheerasagara on me, as you played with Radhika in the waters of Yamuna?"

She giggled at her hopeless thoughts, but closed her eyes to cherish the rain on her face. Maybe Hari was playing with her indeed.

"I'm sure you played with Rukmini that way too, on the Ocean shores. Do you do the same up there, with Lakshmi and Sesha and Shiva and Brahma and Parvati and Narada and-"

She was cut off by the lightning. It was blinding but it also brightened the universe singlehandedly.

"Oh! Does lightning strike when you flash your brilliant smile? Blinding me, taking away my senses, but simultaneously brightening my whole world for me. Was that you smiling from the form of yours you show me in the clouds, Hari?"

The lightning flashed again, slightly smaller, as if it was triggered by a smile he'd smiled in response to her hopelessly lovesick questions. The rain got heavier as if he decided to distract her from the interrogation.

"Drown me in the water of your ocean, alright?" she chided. Childishly enough, she caught some of the rainwater in her hand to throw at the Krishna she was imagining next to herself.

The clouds thundered.

"What was that? Was it you laughing at how foolishly I just threw rainwater into the air mistaking it for you? Or did you break something, like a butter pot?"

The winds began to blow. Was it his response to her?

The wind was blowing tunes of its own but all she could think of was how it sounded like the flute her Achyuta would play. 'As if you've ever really heard him play the flute.' her mind mocked her, but she was convinced.

The winds blew away the rain clouds and the thunder ceased too. But the winds blew on and lightning occasionally struck too.

She looked up at the sky. "Have you now taken away even the little cloud image of you I had, Aprameya? Is this fair?"

The winds blew in response to fuel her wild thoughts. The winds blew in a flute's tune to validate all her madness.

The lightning struck the moment she smiled.

"My smile comes from yours."

She heard a honey-sweet voice in her head. She must've been dreaming. But she smiled, and lightning struck once again.

The moonlight, rumoured to be soothing and comforting, almost pricked her. Such a poetic celestial object it was. So often used in expressions of love. She disagreed with all those poems and songs of the moon she'd heard all her life, now.

She wanted the dark clouds back. The clouds that had been hiding the moon all this while. The clouds where her Krishna resided.

She suddenly saw a flash before her eyes.

She thought it was the lighting once again.

It was her Ramana, the one who charmed her heart, who stood before her.

×××××

A/N:

I've lost it.

Send help maybe. (send Hari I mean)

Soooo much of that might've been fuelled by the crazy thoughts and ideas Mochu and conversations with her put into my head into the past couple days. I've a good number of ideas now. As usual, when I'm extraordinarily busy with work, I've all the ideas in the universe. Yay! 

This came up in my mind (not even remotely in the context of writing a chapter) when I was listening to this gorgeous piece on flute by a brilliant artist.

Saramaina, raga Behag, by Jayanth (Carnatic flute)
(Link in the comments if that'll actually copy paste because it's such a must listen piece)

Unfortunately, I haven't completely internalised the meaning of the song yet, but it is an expression of love in an interesting manner for Padmanabha.

Anyway, I think it's clear that I'm losing (or have lost) my mind. Let's hope I can get it back because I'll have to be writing exams :')

As always, fancy title ideas are very very welcome 🥹😭😭😭😭

Thank you for reading and being a part of (and efficiently fuelling) my madness in here 😭

Byeehwhdhdjdnfjfkifhdbejg! 😁💖