Hate yourself [mlm]

My room

[Mitchell's pov]

I'm left alone with Vince and it's as awkward as usual

"Your dad seems like a nice guy"

Vincent..  the king of small talk

"Yea,  he's cool.  Kinda overbearing when it's just us though.  He's really happy I've got you as a friend.  You should've seen his face when I told him I have someone to hang out with"

Vincent chuckles and looks over at the empty coffee table in front of us

"Hey.  Can I see your room?"  He asks with an anticipating smile

I smile back  "sure"

...

I walk him to my room and on the way there I watch him observe the hallways,  head turning and eyes darting from wall to wall

He's so inquisitive..  it's kind of..  cute..

I'm snapped out of my stupid thoughts when we arrive at my bedroom door

I walk him in,  and he looks as curious as ever

I'm extremely embarrassed by the pile of clothes beside the bed and the empty washing basket at it's side

Not to mention my lack of a bed frame,  having just a singular mattress on the floor

"Don't get too jealous.  Maybe you'll afford a breathtaking room like this some day"

I joke,  Vincent smiles

He takes a seat on the mattress and the springs squeak,  I feel like facepalming at the comedic situation

I sit down beside him

"Is it what you expected?"

He has one last look at the limited space around us

"Actually,  yes.  It's simple.  You never mention any hobbies or interests of yours,  and your room reflects that.  Just a pile of art supplies and some of your drawings hung up on the wall.  I really like it"

I smile at his over enthusiastic analysis of this rats nest

"Uhm..  thanks.  I know it's not much.  You're allowed to curb your enthusiasm just a bit.  I don't care."

He chuckles and leans back against the mattress.  The situation is a little awkward

Left alone with Vince for the whole day,  and we're both on my bed..  door and windows closed..  it's almost like the universe is fucking with me..  saying something like  'oh!   You feel bad about finding this guy attractive?  Well here's the perfect opportunity to tell him exactly how you feel!"

...

I look at Vince and give him a casual smile..  we keep eye contact for a good few seconds until he pulls me down on the mattress with him..

"I'm not gonna lie,  Mitch.  Maybe a couple of niche posters could improve the atmosphere of this room"

He laughs,  I roll my eyes and nudge him hard

"Just kidding.  That wouldn't be you"

I think about his words..  'that wouldn't be you'...

Just what exactly is me?...

"What does that mean?  What classifies as me?"

The question is idiotic,  sure to make Vincent laugh at me..  but he doesn't..  he just stares at the ceiling..  thinking

"Intriguing..  hard to read..  fascinating..  eye opening..  amazing.."

I turn to face him..  the eye contact returns..

"Is that what I am to you?"

I ask,  refusing to blink,  I wanna see every little reaction he can reveal to me..

"Yeah..  kinda.."  he averts his eyes

I smirk  "are you gay for me?"

His shoulder twitches and he outwardly looks away from me

"What?  No..  I just.."  he looks as nervous as ever,  it gives me the upper hand in this conversation,  a new found confidence I can express to let him know it's alright

"You can tell me.  I don't care.  I'm not one of those judgemental bastards."

I smile..  it's meant to come across as comforting but judging by Vincent's reaction,  It's doing the opposite

"I know..  it's just that..  the thing is..  even I'm not a hundred percent sure how I feel.  I don't know what I am or how I'm supposed to tell you."

I put my hand on his shoulder

"Just tell me how you feel"

He looks at me again

"I feel great..  only around you..  for years I've never felt this way about any girl..  probably only once or twice have I ever felt this kind of adoration for someone,  and that's only been for guys..  but it's never been this intense.."

I chuckle  "well..  that sound pretty gay to me"

He buries his face in his hands

"Hey now,  that's not a bad thing.  I like you too..  and..  I think I know how to take away some of this doubt"

He looks up at me

"How?"

I exhale nervously

"Just..  don't freak out.."

...