You said this was forever (l.s)

Chapter 6

Heyyy! So just a warning, there is a lot of talk about self harm and eating disorders, i'll put ⚠️⚠️⚠️  before it starts. It goes to the end of the chapter so i'll put a little recap at the end incase you don't want to read it in detail. 

***

Harry's pov

As I walk home I have a few minutes to think. I live down the street from Louis' house but I'm in a different neighborhood. My house is much bigger than Louis' house. My mom always tells me that just because they live a certain way, that doesn't mean we live the same. Jay is my mom's best friend but my mom does not approve of Jay's lifestyle.

When Louis came out (he just had his boyfriend there), my parents were supportive of him and didn't say anything snarky or rude to him. However when we got home, my parents were saying rude and homophobic things about him.

If I were to come out to them I don't know what would happen. They could become supportive because it's their own child or they could be passive aggressive homophobic towards me or they could completely hate me outwardly. I hope that they will accept me when I come out but I doubt they will.

Louis really wants to tell our families and I want to as well but I don't really want to tell my family. I've told Louis that I was scared to come out to them and I wasn't ready yet. He said that it's okay and we can wait to tell them. He has tried to assure me that everything will be okay and my parents will still love me. I don't think I will ever tell him what their reactions will be.

I try to keep the bad parts of my life away from Louis. The bullying at school, the feeling of never being enough for my parents, the poor eating habits, the harm I cause myself for the small relief it brings, and the constant lack of feeling like I'm enough... all goes away when I'm with Louis.

Louis.

That boy can fix anything with his smile. He's the ray of light that can bring me out of my darkest of times. If I tell him about my problems... that ray of light will start to dim. Louis carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, always trying to make sure everyone has what they need and everyone is happy. That's the problem. If I tell him about my problems... all he will do is worry and try to make things better for me, to fix me. I don't think I can be fixed.

I open the door to my house and surprise, surprise! My mum and dad are waiting in the living room for me so they tirade me again.

"Where were you?!" My mum shouts.

"I was at Louis', you knew this!"

My dad rushes over to me and grabs me by the collar of my shirt, "Don't speak to your mother like that!"

"I'm sorry" I say very timidly.

"I've told you I don't want you hanging around there as much. They live like animals and have no manners! It's obvious they've started to rub off on you. We raised you to have class and to have manners! I don't know where we went wrong!" My mom says, wiping away her tears. 

My dad slaps me across the face, "You've made your mum cry now! You disgust me. Go upstairs now!"

I go upstairs holding back my sobs just wanting everything to be over. The day had been so wonderful before I had to come home.

⚠️⚠️⚠️

I go into my bathroom and get my razor from its hiding place. I know I should stop and I've been trying. It's just so hard to stop when it's the only thing that can bring me any relief. Some may say I should stop acting like my life is so hard when I never have to worry about my family's financials, especially when my boyfriend has to work just so his family has another source of income. The thing is though, just because my family has done well for itself... that doesn't mean what goes on behind closed doors is good.