Ashton's Secret

CHAPTER 18.

"What a lunatic?" Isla said with an eye roll after he was gone.

When Ashton turned to face her, she wondered why he suddenly looks hurt "why was he here Lady Isla?"

For a moment, Isla did not understand the question "what do you mean by that?" Ashton said nothing and glared down at his feet like a sad kid. Isla realized "wait, are you jealous?"

"He is your ex fiancée and he was in your house holding you in such manner. Of course I would be jealous" Ashton replied but did not make eye contact. He was almost pouting and Isla could swear that his cuteness put that of a kitten to shame in that moment.

Since when did she ever think a man was cute? Isla was starting to lose her mind.

One word however had Isla reeling back in confusion, "what do you mean by ex fiancée"

This time Ashton stared at her, the hurt was even more obvious now. "I know you two were once engaged and I know you cheated on him, with a woman"

Isla's expression darken in anger "I assume you heard all those gossip from Fiona"

Ashton did not confirm it; instead she asked "is it true?"

"Believe what you want!" Isla's mood was completely ruined now. She made to walk past him but he gripped her arm to stop her.

"I do not want to believe anything until I hear it from your own lips. Is it true?"

Isla shut her eyes and took a deep breath. What does he care if what was said is true or not, why was he so adamant to get on Isla's good side? Isla shook the thought away, she took in a deep breath, fix her smug smile, open her eyes and then turn to face Ashton again.

He was staring at her in that way again, like he was prepared to walk on burning coals if she asked. She knew then that anything she said, Ashton was going to believe her.

Why does he have to be so different from her other suitors? It would have been easier if he was a jerk, it would have been easier if he was acting disgusted with her, judging and avoiding her after everything Fiona told him.

But why?

Why was he still standing here, holding unto her arm and staring at her like that, no judgment, no hate, no disgust?

Why?

"Everything you heard from Fiona is the truth" she told him with a straight face even though she felt like crawling into a hole in that moment. Isla knew Fiona must have said more than Ashton was letting on, but Isla has already promised herself that she would never let their words bother anymore.

Let them believe what they please!

"Then when you kissed me earlier and all those words you said" he hesitated obviously scared of the answer to what he was about ask. "Did you do that because you were jealous or because you wanted to hurt Fiona?

Of course Fiona must have gone out of her way to paint Isla black in Ashton's eyes. But Isla did not care; maybe this was finally the last piece that would push him away from her. "I told you before Ashton, I do not want you and I do not want Fiona to have you either. You are a bigger fool to have believed that what happened there was because I was jealous" she scoffed harshly "it is very clear that I dislike you Lord Ashton, you are just too foolish that you just cannot get it!"

There was silence, a burning silence that seem more painful than any pain Isla had ever experienced, but that was until she saw the look on Ashton's face.

He looked shattered and Isla's heart actually broke for him despite her being the reason for his pain. Slowly he let go of her arm "must you hurt me this way?" he whispered in a pained voice "I have done everything for you to at least treat me like a human being, and all you did was use me and take me for granted"

Isla knew she should stop, but this was probably her last performance. He has to go after this. "It is not my fault Lord Ashton, it is yours. You are so gullible that you make it easy to hurt you. I made it clear from the beginning that being here would only cause you pain, but you were so naïve you would not listen to me, now you want to blame me for your pain?" she waved him off "I am heading out and I cannot continue having this meaningless conversation with you" she walked away leaving him devastated and broken.

"You did the right thing Isla," she told herself but then her mind flash back to the look on his face and she found herself wondering if she really did.

***

Ashton dazedly walked to her room with her shoulder slump and eyes downcast. It was over now and she knew it. Maybe if she told Isla that she was a woman, she would at least give her a chance, but Ashton could not give herself away. She made a promise to her mother.

She had thought her disguising as a boy was a blessing so she could be with Isla. It actually turned out to a curse.

Theodore was in her room when she got there, and Ashton immediately noticed how tight and weird his clothes looks on him. She frown "Theo, why are you wearing my clothes?"

Theodore who had been admiring himself in the mirror jumped startled at the sudden sound of her voice "Oh Ashton you are back!" he chuckled nervously and tried to act casually but he was not comfortable in the clothes because it was too tight. Ashton raised a brow waiting for a reply. Theodore sighed, "okay fine, I am going out with a lady tomorrow night and I do not have any nice clothes to wear so I'm trying to borrow yours"

"But you look ridiculous" Ashton pointed out.

"It is not my fault that you are so small. You need more flesh on you"

Ashton ignored him and sat on her bed "are you going out on a love date or something?"

Theodore smiled "yes, I have been spending some time with her for a while now and we have been getting along well"

"Who is she?" Ashton asked curiously.

"She is a servant, you do not know her"

"But, what about Ava?" Ashton could not help asking.

Theodore dropped the clothes he was arranging back into the box and faced Ashton "I have already told you Ashton, me and Lady Ava can never happen. I cannot complicate my life and hers because of my stupid feelings. I do not want either of us to get hurt"

Ashton was not satisfied "but you have not even tried to court her. You do not even know if she would like you back or not, you do not know if father would accept you"

"He would not" Theodore said matter of factly "I am nothing more but his personal guards son and his son's personal guard," he paused for a moment and grinned "did you see what I did there? I just turned the words around"

"Theo!!"

"Okay okay, back to the main topic. I am just a guard Ashton and we both know he would never accept me. Sometimes, some feelings are better off being buried than acting upon them only to get hurt in the end."

Theo returned to folding the clothes and Ashton thought deeply about what Theodore had just said.

Some feelings are better off being buried than acting upon them only to get hurt in the end.

Maybe it was time for Ashton to send a letter to father.

It was time to go home!