Open wounds|A Jiara Love Story|

Chapter 4:Contagious

TW:mentions of self-hatred

After they all walked off their direction JJ walked up to their tent and sat beside Kie.
"Does your leg hurt too bad baby?"
JJ asked.
Kiara knew that him calling her baby was just in a friend way since JJ could never like her like that.There was way too much girls that are hundred times prettier than her but something about that nickname gave her butterflies.

She put her thoughts aside and turned her attention to the blond beside her.
"No,i mean it does hurt but nothing i haven't experienced already."
As soon as he heard that he went deep in thought.
Nothing she hasn't experienced?
What pain like this could she experience?
"What do you mean?"he blurted out,
still weirded out by the situation.
"Doesn't matter"she said fastly thinking he was gonna drop it and that the anwer was enough for him and he was still suspicious but didn't want to push her so he dropped it.

They spent most of the day talking and hiding from the hot sun until it was sunset when she asked
"Can you help me up i wanna go sit by the shore"she said softly,so soft he could melt in her voice.
"Yeah,sure"he said and stood up as he picked her up with him and they exited the tent.
"JJ i can walk let me down"she said with a serious change in her voice so he let her down but still held onto her in case she falls.
As soon as she stepped foot on the cold sand and put pressure on her leg she was met by JJ's arms around her to support her from falling as she winced in pain.
"You okey?"he asked,still holding onto her.

"Yeah,yeah i am"she said as she started to walk towards the shore.
When they got to the shore they sat down and she immediately turned her full attention to the gorgeous sun that was just setting and mixing the colors pink,blue and orange.
It was beautiful how every color mixed perfectly as clouds passed the mixed colours making them hide behind.

She admired the view infront of her as JJ admired a view different from her.A view beside him and the view beside him was the famous Kiara Carrera herself.He watched as her brown sunkissed curly hair that fell to her shoulders and moved everytime wind blowed through it.The way her dimples showed as she admired the sun setting in front of them.The way a beach can be a safe place and the way it was to her.The way her face light up when the waves crashed against the shore as her legs disappeared in the water and came back to sight when the waves pulled back.The way her eyes glowed in the light as she was busy finding shells.
The way she loved turtles.The way she loved kids and loved spending time with them.The way she ran her hand through her hair and played with her hands when she was scared or nervous.He loved her and every thing about her.

But he would take that back if he knew that she hates herself.She hates the way she looks.She hates that her anxiety rises up when she's uncomfortable.She hates the way she feels about her body and hates that she does self harm and stucks two fingers inside her throat,making her throw up.She hates the way she feels and she hates the way her dad makes her feel even more disgusted by her own body than she ever was.
She hates herself.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when she turned her head to him.
"What?"she smiled.
"Nothing your just beautiful"he smiled back.
She tried biting back a smile but failed.Her dimples showed as her face turned bright red and she blushed.She never heard someone say that to her.She was standing beside Sarah everytime John B caressed her cheek and told her she was gorgeous looking.She also stood beside Cleo and listened as Pope told her she was so pretty.She stood beside them,in their shadow,still waiting for the moment for a boy to come stand in front of her and tell her she's beautiful like the mixed colours in the sunset.To tell her to stop looking at calories of the food she barely had and ate.To tell her she was enough and to tell her not to take the words her dad says everyday to heart.To tell her he loves her just like Sarah loves John B and John B loves Sarah,just like Cleo loves Pope and Pope loves Cleo.To tell her he has a passion for her just like JJ's mom Diana has a passion for her flower garden.Just like Sarah has a passion for shopping,just like JJ,John B and Pope have a passion for surfing,just like she has a passion for the beach,turtles and surfing.
To tell her he needs her just like Sarah needs John B and John B needs Sarah,just like Cleo needs Pope and Pope needs Cleo,just like the storm needs its end,just like friends need eachother and just like she wants someone to need her as much as she needs someone.

She waited in her friends shadows,she waited for her time and her moment to happen.She waited and she still does.
She waited for someone to tell her not to take her fathers words to heart but nobody knows what he does to her and she already did.

Your a slut.

No one needs you.

No one will ever love you.

No one will ever need you.

You could go kill yourself and nobody would cry after you.

Your just a piece of trash.

A piece of shit.

A broken piece no one wants.she told herself as she let a tear slide down her cheek but she was quick to wipe it off before JJ noticed.
She felt like she will never be needed.
But JJ thought different.He thought she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen and he adored the moment she came into his life ever since.
He was in love with her ever since she stood up for John B when some kid bullied him in third grade.
Even in first grade when she was a shy girl and talked to no one he admired her while she sat far across the classroom as her bunch of curls fell across her shoulders.She enjoyed the view from the window and from time to time went back to coloring her paper.That time he got a sad smiley bescause he colored nothing but he didn't care.That was his first day of first grade and when his mother picked him up he told her all about his first crush.

*flashback*

Hey Jay,how was your first day?"Diana asked her son.
"Mom it was great,we introduced eachother to the teacher and i saw a girl with a whole bunch of curls falling to her shoulders,she had a pretty yellow dress and so pretty shoes.Mom she is gorgeous.I looked at her the whole class!"little JJ said as his mom smiled while she looked at his textbooks to see what he had been doing.
"Why did you get a sad smiley?"she asked.
"Well i was busy looking at her mom,if she wasn't so pretty i would have colored"her son groaned as she laughed.
"And what may her name be?"Diana asked.
"Kiara Carrera,its beautiful right"he said to his mother who chuckled at the thought that her son has his first crush.

*end of flashback*

"Hey guys!Found anything?"Kie yelled which brought JJ back from his thoughts.
"Yeah just some food and wood,nothing much!"Sarah yelled back from quite the distance between them.
Before they knew it they made a fire and sat around it.They talked for hours making plans how to get back home but JJ and Kiara were quiet most of the time since they didn't want to go back and live the lives they lived in the past.They hated their lives but knew they can't do nothing to change them and that's exactly what frustrated them the most.
But they knew that at some point
they had to go home.
The rest of the night they were all joking around and Kiara laughed at her childish friends while JJ admired her smile.It was contagious.