Herobrine's Legacy (The Wielder Chronicles Book Three)

Some Australian Lessons For All Those Uneducated Or Lied To

Because I'm Australian and Fed Up

This ain't an update, but just deal.

Alrighty guys, I've seen heaps of crap about Australia and how supposedly "dangerous" the animal inhabitants here are, and I felt it the solemn duty of an I-grew-up-with-Steve-Irwin-as-a-role-model girl to talk to you all about how completely and utterly incorrect some of the stuff you read is.

Prepare to have your minds BLOWN.

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Here is the list of TERRIFYINGLY DANGEROUS ANIMALS non-Australians are afraid of:

- Dingo aTE MY BABY
- Crocodiles
- Snakes. Just, snakes.
- ALL THE SHARKS. CANNOT SWIM IN THE OCEAN. SHARKS EVERYWHERE
- Blue-ringed octopus
- Spiders
- Mosquitos
- Box jellyfish
- Stonefish
- Giant crabs??? (what)
- Sting rays.

I am here to help you decipher why some of the things on this list are stupid, and why the fact that certain things weren't added is even stupider.

In truth, Australia is kinda messed up. But it's not as bad as you think it is.

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Here is my list of things you should be worried about:

- Salt water crocodiles
- Only particular snakes
- Bull sharks (NOT Great Whites, yeah)
- A few kinds of spider. And no, I am not referring to the giant hairy huntsman. Those spiders are babes.
- Blue-ringed octopus
- Box jellyfish
- Stonefish
- Kangaroos
- Koalas
- Drop bears

And the following paragraphs are reasons as to why the lists have changed. Be warned, though, of the final animal I will be discussing this chapter. Drop bears are not a game, and could possibly severely frighten you. Do watch yourself.

Rad = fun to hang around with and dangerous only when provoked, Mad = don't mess with this bastard, hella dangerous

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DINGOES (rad)

Commonly associated with the cry of a murderous mother (she was found guilty, y'all), dingoes are native Australian dog-like animals that are generally passive towards humans. If you leave them be, they'll leave you be. Period. They aren't dangerous to people unless you make them that way.

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CROCODILES (mad/rad)

As someone who has spent months in the desert outback of the Northern Territory and Western Australia, as well as the Queensland eastern coast, I can safely say with a crap ton of experience that you do not screw around with salt water crocodiles (mad).

When I say salt water crocodiles, I'm separating the two species of croc found within Australia; there are the fresh water crocodiles (rad), that are pretty harmless, and the salties, that would kill a man in a heartbeat. I've swam with heaps of freshies and have had no issues, but let me beat this into your brain: do NOT swim in places with salties. Those giant bastards have jaws stronger than a man who hasn't showered in a week's B.O.

(I swam in a river with salties in it once. Never again.)

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SNAKES (rad/mad)

There are heaps of them here. People will tell you to watch out for the brightly coloured ones with stripes and pretty patterns (rad), but do you know who the real danger is here? Brown snakes (mad).

Brown snakes are practically suburban and quite venomous. Them being so common throughout almost all areas of Australia is what makes them especially deadly; you're never safe from those buggers. They're always out to get you. My dad's mate cut one with an axe when we were camping, once. Nasty bastards, don't want 'em near you, trust me.