Foolish one

Chapter 42

Two weeks passed before we had gotten into a new routine. I walked Nala in the morning while Alexia made breakfast for the three of us. She took Nala on an evening walk while I got ready for bed. We walked her together once during the day, sometimes I joined her in the evening, and she sometimes joined me in the morning. Around this time call-ups for the next camp started to arrive. Alexia got hers, so did Mapí and Aitana. Everyone got called up except me. I knew why. Jorge punished me for rejecting his advanced. I hated this. When the squad for camp got published a lot of fans found it strange that I wasn't there. They said that I had been playing amazing, and along with Mapí barely anyone got passed us. We were a defensive powerhouse, and everyone knew how good we were together.

Articles were published. Everyone speculated about what was going on. The rumours were hateful and destructive. Journalists blamed me and said that I had been angry and ruined everything for my teammates. I wanted to go out and tell my story. At the same time, I didn't want to do that. I was scared about what would happen if I did. Things were already going downhill, and it wouldn't get better if I confessed about what was going on. People would say I was bringing him down for excluding me from camp. That I was trying to ruin his reputation by spreading lies.

"You should tell someone cariño. What he is doing is not okay. He has power over you, and he is abusing that power, he has always done that against you. It hurts seeing you not being called up just because you rejected him" Alexia said in a very caring tone. She knew that she needed to take this slow, and to be caring while she did it. "How do you think I feel?" I asked, my voice breaking while I said it. I heard how Alexia started to say something and I just snapped. "You don't get to say anything about how it hurts you, because it hurts me more. I can't play for the national team because of him and half of me regrets that I stood up for myself, and I hate that. I hate that a part of me is so desperate for the approval playing for the national team gives me. I hate that I am expected to stand up for myself. I hate that everyone thinks I am the one who has done something wrong. I hate him" I screamed. Tears were filling my eyes. Everything I said came from how hurt I was. I was angry at him, I was angry at myself, but I wasn't angry at Alexia.

She didn't say anything for a while. Instead, she pulled me close and hugged me tightly. I sobbed into her shoulder. I felt her shirt getting soaked by my tears. Alexia held me tightly as I cried. She whispered sweet nothings in my ear and kissed my hair. She did everything a good girlfriend would have done. That was because she was an amazing girlfriend, and I didn't deserve someone like her. "Lo siento" Alexia apologized. "Don't be sorry, it is just a lot and I have some troubles dealing with it" I explained, as if it wasn't obvious to her what was going on. "Still, I shouldn't have pushed, you will deal with it in the way you think is best. I'm just angry that he is trying to ruin your career" she explained. "Don't worry" I said and looked up at her.

Alexia carefully wiped my tears away. She placed kisses on my mouth and on my nose. "When you are ready, I will be there to back you up" she said with a smile. I kissed her in appreciation. Nala came out from under the couch. The poor thing must have been scared by my yelling. I picked her up and did my best to apologize. It is hard to do that when she can't speak. In that moment I realised that I needed to apologize to Alexia. Screaming at someone was never a good idea, and it was never kind. "Lo siento querida" I apologized. "Don't worry about it Isa. I love you, and that will not change by you screaming at me" she said with a smile.

Wait, did she just say that she loved me? How could she love me?

"You love me?" I asked. My voice was very small, and I couldn't believe what she just had said. "Of course I do. I love you Elisa" she continued and kissed me when she was finished. "I love you too Ale" I answered with a big smile. I couldn't believe this. "Thank God" she said with a laugh, and I pulled her in for a hug. Alexia Putellas loved me, and I loved her. Nala complained that she was stuck in the middle of our hug.