Watching Over You || Back In Your Arms || Minsung

Worse. tw.

After that encounter with Minho which he deducted was just some made up shit created by his brain, it never happened again.

As crazy as it sounds, jisung wished it did.
Traveling down memory lane was his only connection with Minho. Other than the photos and videos in his phone.

He'd rather have untrue ones than have to live over their happy memories in his mind without the one who made them joyful in the first place.

It was the same thing each day.
Wake up. Lay there for a bit. Get up to shower and feed the cats. Watch anime or listen to music. Clean if he had energy. Cry when he missed Minho. By then it'd be dinner time, so he'd fix something for himself, eat it and either go back to the couch or to bed. Then repeat.

He was tired, the only sense of change he had was when his friends came over.
And even they didn't help much, for the second they're gone, jisung is alone again. Alone with his thoughts. Alone with the loss of of Minho paired with the feeling of something empty just lingering within him.

He yanked at his hair for what felt like the hundredth time today.

'talking' to Minho helped a bit.
Not his actual self since he was dead but over the phone.
He continued messaging about his day even though there's really nothing to tell.

But then Minho's chip got blocked and he could no longer do that.

Jisung was like a walking corpse at this point.
His cheeks got incredibly smaller and he got thinner.
Lost a lot of weight.

He asked his job if he could work from home, they were a bit iffy about it at first since they gave him a 'sick leave'; however they granted him what he wanted.

He'd be starting back up next week and if you ask him, he doesn't want to.
Everything feels more or less like a chore at this point. An excruciating chore that he is sick and tired of doing, over and over and over.

He thought maybe, just maybe he'd have been doing better by now. Or at least trying to, but it's just getting worse and worse with each passing day.

His friends are worried sick.
Even Mrs Han and Minho's mom.

She stopped by a couple days ago with Mrs Lee and his mother was beyond shocked with her son's appearance.

She of course offered to make him some food and by the time she was done, it looked like an entire feast fit for a king.

'I can't eat all that...but if I don't eat it, her efforts will go to waste' he mulled over in his head. So like the good son he was, he sat down and started eating.

His stomach couldn't take it after a couple mouthfuls, so he excused himself from the table where the three of them were sat, and went to the bathroom.

He locked it and immediately emptied his stomach in the toilet.

Jisung eats but not the way he should.
It would be small bites of whatever he made, or just light snacks.

His body adapted to this new eating style and he didn't see the problem with it.

He was rarely hungry and could sometimes go days without even realizing he didn't eat.

When he left the bathroom, the two women were conversing with each other but he was too tired to care.

"Jisung, we have to leave. I packed the food and put them in the fridge. I left out the one you were eating though."

"Thanks mom."

"Take care of yourself...promise me"

"I promise"

He lied of course.
Because if he was telling the truth he wouldn't be sat here on his couch, staring of into nothing, thinking of putting an end to his life.

a/n: yeah...