After All The Raindrops (MOST PAINFUL BATTLE #1)

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I was loooking at the ceiling, puting-puti ito at tila perpekto ang pagkakagawa sa mata ko. Iniisip ko kung ganito ba kaputi ang kalangitan.

I was wondering kung nakasunod ba'ko kay Ranne ay makakapunta ako sa langit. I'm sure he went to heaven.

Ang kapal naman ng kalangitan para tanggihan siya.

Hindi ko maalis ang tingin ko sa kisame, dahil once na ibaba ko ang paningin ko alam kong magwawala ako sa galit.

I don't know how many days I've been here, as long as I've been here for three days since I woke up, I don't know how many days I've slept.

I honestly don't know what happened those days. I really thought I was going to die, I wish I did.

The last thing I remembered was Ranne's hand by my side when I closed my eyes, because I had given up. After that I just woke up in the hospital, I haven't seen Dred yet.

None of the Alpha Team visited me, but Sharine, Maxine and Aiken did. Aiken is here more often, Maxine rarely comes but she stays here for a long time. Sharine was only for a while because she was busy at Rmall.

I didn't look at any of them and I didn't speak, until now I still don't speak. I don't even know if I can talk anymore.

They keep talking to me, but I don't answer. I just stared at the ceiling, dumbfounded as if I was staring into nothingness.

I haven't heard from Mama and Papa, I don't know if they survived. I don't want to ask, I don't want to know anything.

I don't know if I was the only one who survived or if Mama and Papa were too, but I remained silent.

Hindi rin ako dinalaw ni Jevi, mga piling tao lang ang dumalaw sa'kin. Which is pinagpapasalamat ko rin, dahil hindi ko rin naman alam kung makakausap ko pa ba sila.

Iniisip ko, what if hindi ko nakilala si Dred? What if hindi ko hinawakan ang Rmall? Mangyayari kaya lahat?

Isisi ko man kila Dred at Captain ang nangyari, alam kong may kasalanan din ako. Kung hindi ako naging malapit sa kanila baka ngayon buhay pa ang kapatid ko.

Kamalasan ang hawakan ang Rmall's Massacre.

Sana pala hindi ko na lang inagaw yun kay Cindy, baka hindi ako minalas ng ganito. Karma ko siguro kasi nagnakaw ako ng bagay na hindi naman dapat sa'kin.

Pero sana isinama na lang ako, sana ako na lang muna yung unang pinatay at hindi ang kapatid ko. Mas gugustuhin ko pang makita niyakong mamatay, kaysa sa nangyari.

Kung buhay pa si Leo, at dumating yung oras na magaling na'ko. Magbabayad ako ng kahit na sino, mapatay ko lang siya sa paraan na gusto ko. Kakausapin o hahanapin ko si Marven Afin, matulungan niya lang ako.

Sana talaga pinatay na lang ako ni Mama, o sana talaga nasama akong namatay sa tunay kong ina. Kung nangyari yun baka siguro hindi ganito ang kakalabasan ng buhay ni Ranne.

Ranne is young, has many dreams in life. Maybe he hasn't got a girlfriend yet. He was just a senior high school student, but his life was taken away immediately.

I laughed bitterly, because I didn't even ask him what he wanted to take in college. Apart from playing basketball, I don't know anything about him.

Anong klaseng ate ako? Natatapos na ba pagiging ate ko pagkatapos ko bilhan siya ng school supplies at magbayad ng tuition?

Kung sana talaga alam ko ang mangyayari.

"Hindi ka pa rin kumakain?"