Blues and Yellows

Just A Dare

"...Love is not an easy thing to admit, but I'm not ashamed of it."

"..."

"...Love is not a weakening if you feel it rushing in, don't be ashamed of it."

~

Drained. Chatty classmates seemed to hurt my head worse right then. Why couldn't there be peace for even a moment? Sitting and spectating was all I could muster in the days that followed my falling out with Silas. Nothing else to think about, and nothing else to say. Sir Bassett seemed to be running especially late, so our morning homeroom was especially chaotic. What I did know, however, was that some sort of peer pressure was going down in the classroom.

"Kiss! Her! Kiss! Her!" Those were the exhausting chants I heard echoed against the walls as I rolled my eyes. Claps came in unison to keep the pressure on, leaving me helpless as I turned my head to see what was unfolding. "C'mon, we all know you're in love with her! Just do it!" Who was I kidding? I didn't have to look to know what went down. When I finally found an angle that let me see through the circled crowd of students, it was but a flower and a light; Eris and Silas.

I thought I'd be mad or sad or just—anything. Instead, I kept quiet and continued watching the game. My emotions and feelings seemed to dissipate—maybe even too much—as I focused on what happened in the moment. Sitting across the room, I saw a boy and a girl stare into each other their consciences forgetting about their obnoxious surroundings as they grew enamored with the souls that inhabited the back of their eyes. 

I hated that my mind extrapolated what they probably saw in one another. Eris looked as if the sun had finally risen after a twenty-year dark night, her flush colored like pink petals to bask in the light it felt. Watching Silas' cheeks reciprocate left me feeling numb, his eyes not believing the beautiful flower that had blossomed in front of him. Just for him. Was it redundant to roll my eyes? My headache grew worse with every octave higher students took with their crazed voices.

Gradually, Silas and Eris' faces drew closer to one another, the air-conditioned room making their colliding breaths visible as they did. I wasn't sure if I'd be glad or mad if an unsuspecting classmate got in the way of my view at the last second when their lips would finally meet. An irritating crescendo was achieved as people hyped up their eventual kiss, my ears now covered to save my hearing. I guess I lucked out, because I did end up witnessing it; their first kiss.

It was just a dare, but it seemed to have meant everything. They closed the gap on almost everything, physically and emotionally. I had seen people kiss for a dare before, but never did one ever feel this real; this—true. Silas cupped the other's face as they fell into a long, endearing kiss. Did I feel annoyed? Disgusted? Saddened? Surprised? I didn't know. I just watched as they closed their eyes and gave into it, not caring about what would've happened to them after.

Making it so public and plain to see made me feel sick, but there was nothing I could do about it. Was that it? Was the journey with Silas finally over? His eyes didn't even catch onto mine anymore, his attention more enamored with the crowd that chided and teased him for the kiss he pulled. His messy brown hair complimented the smooth silk that flowed from Eris'. His shy compassion shone brightly for her blooming beauty and extroversion.

In the truest sense, it was a love story. They were the friends that became lovers in the end. I should've known it wouldn't have been him and I, but at least it didn't feel that dramatic to me anymore. Cheers continued to erupt as they pulled apart from one another, their gazes unwilling to look away from the other. My ears were still covered at that point, so it felt like a sorrowful echo chamber, with its star attraction being two friends who held each other tight.