Losing My Mind

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Miranda Pov.
~2months ago~
Javontae still haven't came home yet and I'm so scared and worried about him. The FEDS still watching out for him but you don't see the situation on the news no more for real. With Vonte having a family he can't hide in another state or country forever. I haven't talked to him in some weeks so I'm kind of worried about him. I been calling but he haven't been answering at all and it kills me. Today I was going to just chill at home and spend time with the kids. Nicole and Carmen might come a little later on. I was trying to clean up but every time I move some it will appear in the same spot where I moved it out of. I had put Paris down in her play pen as she was rolling over. I smile at her as she was trying to roll back on her back. She is really a handful. I was washing dishes when I looked out the corner of my eye and saw Kanden coming down the stairs with his game. I walked out the kitchen and went into the living room where he was going to.

"What you doing boy?" I ask with a curious look
"I'm about to play my game ma"
"Oh no you not, you gone help me clean up and take that damn game back in your room"
"Nooo! I'm not doing anything, I want to play my game!" He said yelling making Paris jump

I pause for a moment to get back to reality because I just know my 5 year old son ain't tell me "NO". He done lost his damn mind. I took a deep breath to compose myself into being calm.

"Well did you clean your room?" I said in a calm tone
"Nope" he said with an attitude
"Well go clean your room Kanden" I said taking a deep breath
"I don't feel like it ma" he said pouting a lil
"I really don't give a fuck what you don't feel like doing but I know you going to take your little ass upstairs and clean that damn room!"

He took his game from the living room and took it to his room. He was storming up the stairs like he was mad. Then he mumble "I wish my dad was here" I just let the shit slide because I already knew if I didn't I was gone hurt him. "You got an hour to clean that room" I said yelling from the staircase for him to hear me. I picked Paris up to go put her in her baby bed and when I walked by Kanden room he was sitting on the bed playing his nintendo DS. I put Paris down in the crib as she drifted to sleep. I walked into Kanden room and stood at the door.

"What did I tell you to do boy?"
"To clean my room" he said with an attitude
"Okay so why the fuck you not doing it!" I said raising my voice
"I'm playing my game duh" he said getting smart

I walked into his room and grabbed the game out his hand and he looked up at me like I was crazy. His ass better find somebody to play with before I kill him then Vonte gone have 1 less child to worry about.

"Now clean this damn room before I come back in and when I come back in here the room better be clean!" I said walking out the room

I went into my bedroom to make up the bed. Then I went into the bathroom to clean the tub and toilet out. When I was done with that I heard my phone ring and it was Nicole. She ain't want shit but to tell me she was gone come over later with Carmen and she got some news to tell me too. I continue to clean up and once I was done I went to check on Paris and she was still asleep so i went into Kanden room and his little ass was still sitting on the bed like I didn't say shit to him earlier. I don't know if this boy 5 or damn 16 his ass acting a fool but I'm about to put him in his place. "I'm tired of telling your ass to do some" I said walking out his room into my bedroom. I looked around for my thick rhinestone belt. I don't believe in whooping my kids but Kanden ass about to get one today. I walked out my bedroom into the Kanden room with the belt and he looked at me with fear.

"So what I told you to do Kanden Amari Boyd!?" I said raising the belt up
He lifted his shoulders up as he don't know.

And as soon at he did that I was attacking his ass with the belt. Javontae better get here fast cause I can't deal with this boy right now. When I was done with Kanden i went to put the belt down in my room and then I walked back into his room. "Now you better clean this damn room and I'm not gone say the shit again, do you understand?" I said giving him a angry look. He nodded his head and just when I was about to walk out his room he yelled "I wish my damn dad was here". After he said that I did a damn 360 spin and went back to him. I popped him in his mouth as he started back crying again. "Shut the fuck up because if you wake Paris up, im gone really make your ass cry" I said walking out his room. I went downstairs and saw that I had two miss calls from Javontae. I took a seat on the couch and called him back. He answered on the third ring.

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